Words Women Use

My most fabulous friend Jessica sent me this and it's too good to keep to myself. Here's to helping the menfolk decode our women-speak.

"Fine."
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

"Five minutes."
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. "Five minutes" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

"Nothing."
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

"Go ahead."
Ths is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

<loud sigh>
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing".

"That's okay."
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

"Whatever."
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ you!