Trying anything to help the Democrats win

Are you there God? It's me, Christie.

I know we haven't spoken in awhile, Lord, but I am hopeful you will hear my pleas for help and offer whatever assistance you can. You see, far right-wing conservative Republicans have taken control of the country. And they aren't being good stewards. Not at all, your supreme deityness.

There are bad, evil Democrats, too, Lord. I know this. But it seems that arguably having power of all three branches of government has caused the already bulbous heads of the Republicans to inflate to such a size that the synapses upstairs are no longer able to fire correctly. Case in point - for these guys creationism is science, human activities do not have a significant impact on global warming, and Michael J. Fox was "exaggerating the effects of the disease" when speaking on behalf of Maryland Democrat Ben Cardin in a series of political ads supporting the candidate. Um, what? Faking? Seriously? You're going to make fun of a person with Parkinson's?

This administration and its supporters have forgotten your messages of love and forgiveness, Jesus. And it makes me sad. Because I am 65% sure they are good people or sure that 65% are good people, take your pick. But Jesus Howard Christ, enough is enough. We need the House and Senate to be on the opposite side of the dude reading Shakespeares in the White House. It's the only way to reign that fucker in. That, or we need Clinton to be a dictator. If you can swing that, rock on Jesus, you've got yourself a new follower.

In conclusion, your holiness, the right-wing nut jobs are misguided in their efforts. I don't know if a flood is in order but something...perhaps locusts at the next Republican National Convention?

Love,
Christie