Book thirty-seven: The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.

Sweet. Got one more in and I even gleaned some tips for dealing with the young one. Here they are:

1. Connect and redirect: Surfing the emotional waves
2. Name It to Tame It: Telling stories to calm big emotions
3. Engage, Don't Enrage: Appealing to the upstairs brain
4. Use It or Lose It: Exercising the upstairs brain
5. Move It or Lose It: Moving the body to avoid losing the mind
6. Use the Remote of the Mind: Replaying memories
7. Remember to Remember: Making recollection a part of your family's daily life
8. Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Teaching that feelings come and go
9. SIFT: Pay attention to what's going on inside
10. Exercise Mindsight: Getting back to the hub

Also, we can blame a lot of the crap our kids put us through on the amygdala - the tiny almond-shaped part of the limbic area responsible for quickly processing and expressing emotions, especially anger and fear. So, yeah, Hen's amygdala, this is me shaking my fist at you right now. This thing can hijack your child's ability to respond in a reasonable and rational and peacefully, socially acceptable way and turns your lovely child into a rampaging, book-flinging lunatic. For someone's Hen's age, the redirect method is still highly recommended as a means to get past the anger and/or fear that is overtaking your little person.

Siegel discusses the left and right sides of the brain and why each are important to nurture, and explains the upstairs and downstairs brains. Most probably already know this but here's a quick overview...
The left is logical, literal, and linguistic. The right is nonverbal, holistic, and focuses on the meaning and feeling of an experience. The downstairs brain (brain stem, limbic region) is primitive, responsible for basic functions (like breathing and blinking), for innate reactions and impulses, and for strong emotions. The upstairs brain (cerebral cortex and its various parts) is more evolved, where more intricate mental processes take place, like thinking, imagining, and planning. The upstairs brain is "responsible for producing many of the characteristics we hope to see in our kids:

• Sound decision making and planning
• Control over emotions and body
• Self-understanding
• Empathy
• Morality"

The premise of this book is integration - you have to balance the left and right brain (Siegel uses the metaphor of being in a boat and wanting to stay mid-stream, not venturing too close to either bank) and develop the upstairs brain so that it can effectively "control" the downstairs brain in times of stress, anxiety, fear, anger, etc.  (For this, he uses a closed fist showing the upstairs (fingers) covering and protecting the downstairs (thumb) so that your child doesn't (open fist) flip his lid and be overtaken by his emotions.

Like most parenting books I've read, there is a lot of useful, common sense information. Thankfully, he admits at least once that sometimes the unpleasant scene just has to play itself out, that you can't always navigate your child back to his/her "happy place" so they can be less grumpy/annoying/disobedient/etc. Children aren't automatons. But it is - doh! - our responsibility as parents to help them develop the skills necessary to get through life. 

Anyway, I don't know if I'd recommend this book over any other book I've read but it was an easy quick read. If you're looking for one last book to finish in 2011, this just might fit the bill.

37 down and that's all folks.