I was met in the parking lot by one frustrated teacher carrying one unhappy little boy when I arrived at school today. Oy vey. The lad was throwing barkdust and hitting adults. This is so very not awesome. I feel as if I am failing Hen in some fundamental way. Not only am I to blame for taking him to school on a day when I knew he was seriously sleep-deprived*, I have been unsuccessful at teaching him the skills he needs so he can act appropriately when I'm not there policing him. When I dropped him off this morning I joked about his lack of sleep. I figured it would be one of those times when the kid manages to keep it together until he's with mom again, expecting I'd get the hellish attitude after we returned home. Did I misjudge that or what? I'm not sure what to do - punishment seems wrong because he can't completely control his emotions, particularly when he is not operating at his best, and talking seems ineffective. Do I just reiterate our policies on barkdust throwing (we can play with barkdust, we cannot throw it at people) and hitting (we can tell people we're upset, we cannot hit them).
The little boy is sleeping on our bed right now. In the car ride home, he asked me if I was sad. I said yes. He wanted to know why. I told him I was sad because he is a good boy but he made the wrong choices today. He became quiet. When I looked at him a few seconds later, he had nodded off. He woke up when we got home and asked me to remove his boots and jacket before falling back asleep. He's a good kid. I would hate for him to be labeled as something different and become the kid all other children and parents avoid.
*Hen is sleep-deprived quite often. Melatonin helps him get to sleep but has him waking up much earlier. Today he woke up at 4a.m. and was not able to get back to sleep. If I kept him from school on days when he was sleep-deprived, he'd rarely go.
7 comments:
I wish I had the answer to Henry's sleep woes. :(
You're doing a great job. Sleep is just Henry's challenge area. Keep at it.
Sorry to hear. :(
You're not failing him and he is certainly not the first, nor the last, 4yo to be carried out to the parking lot by a frustrated teacher. He's going to figure all this out--how to handle his emotions when he's sleep-deprived, how to regulate his sleep so he won't be sleep-deprived so much, etc.
I'm sorry Hen--and consequently you--had a not great day.
You're not failing him. Growing up is hard, and so is being a parent. Hen and Riley seem so much alike when it comes to the sleep and lack thereof; I try to remind myself that they are just SO INTERESTED in life and they just don't want to miss out on anything! Which doesn't help them to get the sleep they need, but sometimes helps me to keep my perspective and sanity.
You are awesome. So is Henry. Remember that.
Have you looked into 5-HTP? You can get it at any vitamin shop and even in New Seasons type grocery stores. It might be something better than Melatonin. Maybe you could create an evening tea ceremony where he gets to sip some sleep-inducing tea. Just a little kick to compel him into dreamtime.
Could you take Henry to a homeopath and maybe they can find a more suitable drug or food supplement to help him sleep through the night?
oh, I definitely agree with Amber. but easy for me to say. bleah.
That's so hard. I hate it when they are the 'bad kid'. I took mine home one day crying because of a similar situation (me crying not him). Sleep is such a truly thing. I've been trying to get Cameron to 'sleep in' too. Lately I've been blocking his night light to maybe help him keep sleeping if he wakes up. Seems to maybe start to be working. But not always. I'd say a homeopath might be a great route! Good Luck
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