Book twenty-one: Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection by Debora L. Spar

If you are female, you should read this book. If you are male, you should read this book. If you are a mother, you should read this book. If you are not a mother, you should read this book. If you have a career, you should read this book. If you are thinking of having a child, a husband, and a career, you should read this book. Pretty much everyone should read this book.

"In 1947...two prominent psychologists...described feminism as a "deep illness" and warned that any woman who fell prey to its temptations was "neurotically disturbed" and likely afflicted with a nasty case of penis envy"." --pg 21

"And when our mothers cooed happily about our ability to have it all, we silently begged them to offer the only thing we really wanted: a week of free babysitting... there never was a woman - a real woman, at least - who balanced her life and her loves and her job and her children with the panache that women of my generation believed would come naturally." --pg 28 

"Why does the English language contain no equally disparaging male equivalent for the word "slut"?" --pg 77

"My husband was even blunter. "Just don't look down," he would warn impending dads-to-be. "Hold her hand, pretend you're breathing, and don't for a minute believe you're doing any of the work." --144

 "I'm a mediocre mother like the vast majority of women, because I'm human." [Elizabeth Badinter] --pg 149

"Yet as the feminist revolution has unfurled over the past four decades, sending millions of women traipsing blithely into the workforce, patterns of househould labor allocation have barely budged. Instead women, regardless of their jobs or income, still tend to do the bulk of both household and child-rearing tasks...And there still doesn't seem to be a dad on the planet who knows how to book his kids' dental appointments." --pg153

"Marriage has never been easy...to bind oneself to one person forever; to share finances, meals, children, old stories, and germs till death do you part. That's why we still sign contracts, why marriage remains a legal state as well as a personal one. Because, unlike weddings and sex, marriage is hard. It is hard to organize a life with one person, day after day, for decades. Hard to be a good husband or a good wife." --pg 165

"...women, given the choice about their lives and careers - are making these choices differently than men. In the aggregate, and given a certain measure of financial security, they are making the choice between work and family in favor of the latter." --pg 186

"In fact, divorce is one of the worst calamaties that befall women in middle age...recently divorced women are more financially strained than others in the general population, experiencing higher rates of poverty, lower incomes, and greater reliance on public assistance. According to a British study, separated wives saw an immediate decline in their incomes of 22 percent, while separated husbands saw a rise of 13 percent. For women who originally left the workforce to focus on the home front, the fallout from divorce can be particularly treacherous...because many stay-at-home moms had solid academic credentials and extensive work experience before they chose to stay at home, courts often presume they will become financially self-sufficient and treat any potential alimony payments accordingly." --pg 222

 21 down plus 5 to go.


UPDATE: What a happy surprise! The author has an assistant at the college where she works who must troll the internet searching for references to her book and he found this post. Per his request, I am adding a link to her book site so you can know where to go to find out more about her, about the book, and for info on where you can purchase the book. For those who wish to shop local (i.e., PDX area), you can also go to Powell's to get a copy. Happy reading!