Hobby Lobby, a.k.a. My head keeps feeling like it is going to explode

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook

Crafts: Cross stitch families

The idea came from Martha Stewart's Favorite Crafts for Kids book. There are patterns for different types of clothes, shoes, hairstyles, and accessories that make it easy for you to personalize your people. I love these. As soon as I get our family cross stitch pic framed, I'll post a pic of it.

Book twenty-one: Lake Como by Anita Hughes

I am quite convinced that St. Martin's Griffin is a pseudonym for Harlequin. I give ye this example to prove my point. Please note the first sex scene begins on page three.

"He pulled Hallie down and covered her with his body. Peter was built like a runner: long legs, narrow hips, thin, angular shoulders. But when he made love he was like a wrestler, pinning her to the bed. She loved the feel of his chest rubbing against hers, his tongue exploring her mouth.

Hallie felt Peter's breath hot against her cheek. He opened her legs and slid deep inside her. She felt their bodies push and pull as if they were playing a child's game of tug-of-war."

1. I can't get over the imagery of children playing a game of tug-of-war and can't figure out how that, in any way, is similar to their lovemaking.

2. I can tell you there has been one (or two?) other sex scenes and he's always going "deep".

3. Do I care if he runs a lot and fucks like a wrestler?

4. I'm totally grossed out by the "chest rubbing" description. Ewww.

Perhaps I'm not being fair. I mean, Ms. Hughes wrote a book, and got it published! And all I'm doing is pissing on it. Not very nice, is it? But the premise of this book is just like every other book I read during my middle school years (shout to Danielle Steele, yo!). Girl is with the wrong guy and that relationship ends for whatever reason - could be he cheats on her, he might die, he might go missing and she later finds out he had a second family, etc. Girl is conflicted about where she wants her life to go. She goes, in this book, to an exotic location (see title of said book), which is less exotic since part of her family lives there. She meets a new guy. He's fabulous but behaves in some way that makes it difficult for her to trust him. Yet, in the end she gets the guy, she ends up with a fabulous career, and she finds out she is an actual princess. Oy vey.

If the above description is appealing, this would be a good book to pack if you're traveling and want a light, easy read.

21 down plus 31 to go.

 

Book twenty: William Shakespeare's Star Wars: Verily, A New Hope by Ian Doescher

First glimpse of the holographic message of Princess Leia stating her case for assistance from Obi-Wan…

"O help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, help. Thou art mine only hope."

One of many R2-D2's awesome comments…

"---Beep, meep, meep, hoo."

Vader…

"I find thy lack of faith disturbing."

Chewbacca…

"Auuugh!"

This book is the epitome of awesome. If you have a Star Wars fanatic who also is a lover of Shakespeare, this is the gift to give this Christmas. And, no, it's not too early to be talking about Christmas.

20 down plus 32 to go.

 

 

 

Book nineteen: A Dismal Science by Peter Mountford

Vincenzo D'Orsi is a high-ranking economist at the World Bank. When he is pressured to cut off aid to Bolivia if a specific person is elected, he goes public. His statements to the press bring about the collapse of his carefully crafted life, leaving him to ponder what comes next. 

A thoroughly enjoyable, well written read. I highly recommend this book. 

19 down plus 33 to go.

Shoes with laces

In an effort to continue to chronicle everything possible about Hen's growing up, I took many a picture of Hen wearing his new pair of shoes. These shoes are different because they have the distinction of being his first pair with bona fide laces. Hen watched me tie my shoes twice before successfully tying his own shoes. Later, he showed his mad shoelace-tying skills to his papa, and we took those sneaks out for test drive around the neighborhood.

Boy outfit #22

Shopping guide info:

1. pants - Mini Boden, purchased at bodenusa.com

2. sweater - Ciao Marco, purchased at zulily.com

3. shoes - Onitsuka Tiger, purchased at nordstrom.com

Bath progress

Hen, running naked across the room: Papa, smell between my toes!

Darr, dodging Hen's feet: Okay, but don't put your feet in my popcorn.

Then I hear…

Hen: Papa! Smell my armpit!


Hen has been bathing by himself for a while now but tonight represents the first time when all of his body parts were cleaned with zero assistance from his parents, the cats or spirit Beauts who reside at the condo with him. Raising a kid brings with it lots of firsts.

Book Eighteen: Fortunately, the Milk by Neil Gaiman

Fantastic. Awesome. Clever. This is surely a book we will read over and over again, which means I'm going to have to actually buy it for Hen's home library. Oh, darn. (Not really.)

The only thing I want to note about this book is that it is infinitely better if, when reading aloud, you can create voices for each of the characters. There is much banter between Professor Steg and the father as they fly around in the "Floaty-Ball-Person-Carriers". There are wumpires with accents, Splod the god of people with short, funny names, and green globby peoples. Also, ponies. (And you thought it couldn't get any better.)

There is a Usual Suspects kind of ending that I appreciated.

Did I mention the illustrations along the way, because those are fantastic. If you have a kid that likes books, this is one for the bookshelf.

18 down plus 34 to go.

Happy Pi Day!

We attended our first Pi Day party today at Ms. L's house. It was fantastic, although I should note I have extreme bias in favor of pie so I'm not sure you can take my word as fair and objective. Savory pies included a Tex-Mex pie, a GF asparagus pie, an egg, broccoli and cheese pie and a potato pie*. Sweet pies included a cherry pie, marionberry pie, mud pie, apple pie*, key lime pie*, coconut cream pie, and a GF coconut crust and chocolate pie*. There were snack foods and the kids also ate pizza (a pizza pie, eh?) I'm very happy when traditions like this get started.

*I made this!

Henry the hamantaschen

It's Purim time and today there was a celebration at Hen's school best described to me as the "Jewish Halloween". Hen originally requested a jellyfish costume but the day before yesterday he changed his mind and requested I make him a hamantaschen costume instead. I didn't have directions but it was pretty easy to quickly sew one together using a couple items from JoAnn's Fabrics.

Allergy test

We had Hen's intermittent cough checked out by his doc a few weeks ago and just today had our appointment with an allergist to see if Hen is allergic to anything in the home/environment that could be causing it. The nurse administered the pediatric test since Hen's only symptom is the cough - no watery and irritated eyes, no runny nose, no rashes. This test includes stuff in the home like mold and dust mites and, because we have cats, cat dander, and stuff outside the home like grasses, pollen, etc. These allergens are applied to the skin and monitored for twenty minutes. The test concludes after the skin around the allergen is examined and measured to see if a reaction has occurred, which would indicate an allergy to the specific allergen. This is what it looks like:

Hen did just fine and has no apparent allergies.

Book seventeen: I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales from a happy life without kids by Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman is a writer on Chelsea Lately and a stand-up comedian. She does not want to have kids. She's so troubled by the flak she gets from every procreating female out there that she wrote a book about it. She's funny, but between the laughs I'm sad for her. Not because she's made the decision to not have kids - after having had my own, I wouldn't wish parenthood on anyone who wasn't sure they wanted it - but because her decision to not have them appears to be constantly challenged by nearly every friend and stranger with kids on the planet that she meets. (Unless she's exaggerating for the sake of comedy. I hope she is.)

It's fine if Ms. Kirkman doesn't want kids. The world is exploding with seven billion people already. But she either doesn't recognize what having children brings to the table or she purposely focuses on the bad things about having a child. I can't decide which. The effect is that her reasons to stay child free sound hollow. Sure, babies do spit up but that stage does end. They crap their pants and it's your job to clean them but that stage ends. They will most likely be - if my anecdotal evidence holds true - bad sleepers and you won't get a full eight hours of sleep until they become moody teenagers but that stage ends.

I'm mostly reminded of the book Wonder Women by Debora Spar, because for one section of one chapter, Kirkman addresses the idea of women's choice. How we were led to believe as young girls that we could have it all. But the all isn't attainable without sacrifice and once you start making those sacrifices, well, you don't really have it all anymore. You have a lesser version called the next best thing.

17 down plus 35 to go.

The "I'm Bored" jar

Dr. A at McMiller PDX recently blogged about using an "I'm Bored" jar to give kids something to do when they start complaining about having nothing to do. Because we, too, have a kid who sometimes can be bored playing by himself* this sounded like a jar we needed to have. And so here it is...

Our jar activities are mostly weighted towards fun with a few chores just to keep the kid honest. Here's a sampling of the fighting boredom cards used in our jar:

1. Paint the Sistine Chapel - where the parent tapes a roll of paper to the underside of the table, lays down a drop cloth, gives the kid paints and brushes, and lets him be a little Michelangelo 
2. Take ten interesting photos - this is the one that Miss E had to do (for the uninitiated, Miss E is Dr. A's daughter)
3. Find five toys to donate 
4. Make a mini movie 
5. Go on a candy hunt - I raid the candy drawer, hide pieces around our building, and set him loose
6. Make a bird feeder - we'd probably need to go to the store to get the supplies but that, too, would be something to do
7. Go to the park
8. Complete a page of math
9. Create a treasure map
10. Make pet rocks

I'm pretty sure Hen will want to look at all the suggestions and select the one that sounds the most fun but we won't let him get away with that. Oh no, we will not.

*Note: I wrote playing by himself not with himself. I'm quite sure when we hit that phase, Hen won't be bored. He'll just be in his room with the door closed a lot.

Repurposed Tyrannosaur

This guy was left in our bathroom. It started with a hair band, then the earrings, necklaces, etc. And that's how Hen's old dino got a J.O.B. Now, he's responsible for handling all but my stud earrings. Finally, there's something for those tiny arms to do.

Book sixteen: The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate

Hen asked me near the end why I get the "cry voice" when I'm reading sometimes. This book is yet another in a seemingly endless number of children's books that can bring you to tears. This shouldn't prevent you from reading it to your kid, though. The story is beautifully written and - SPOILER ALERT - there is a happy ending for its characters.

Ivan is a silverback gorilla who is abducted from his homeland after witnessing the brutal slaughter of most of his family. He lives in a cage for nearly three decades with a mutt dog named Bob and an old elephant named Stella. When a new visitor comes and tragedy strikes, Ivan's promise motivates him to action.

16 down plus 36 to go.

Crafts: Valentine crayon decorations

Hen wasn't able to celebrate Valentine's Day at school but that didn't stop us from having a special day at home. A few weeks before, Hen and I made melted crayon hearts, an idea I got after borrowing Martha Stewart's Handmade Holiday Crafts from the library. These definitely require parental involvement as a hot iron is needed to melt the crayons. I also used a Microplane grater after determining that the crayon sharpener took too long to get the needed shavings for the project. (And I did end up grating a bit off the old finger - whoops.)

To do this project you need the following:
wax paper
parchment paper
iron
ironing board (or other appropriate surface for ironing)
crayons (grated or shaved)

1. Grate the crayons - I highly recommend making individual piles of each color.
2. Cut off a piece of wax paper - 12"x12" is a good size.
3. Fold the wax paper in half and open it again.
4. Sprinkle a light layer of shaved/grated crayons pieces on one side of the wax paper, staying clear of the edges.
5. Fold the wax paper in half again and fold all the edges closed. (1/2 to 3/4 of an inch is good.)
6. Place wax paper between two pieces of parchment paper to prevent wax from melting and sticking onto the ironing board (or whatever surface you're using to iron the item on) and the iron.
7. Run the iron across the parchment paper until the crayon has melted.
8. Hang wax paper to cool and then cut into desired shape.

This was a lot of fun and they look very cool. One note, if you decide to make these for yourself, if the crayon shavings/gratings aren't equally distributed, the item will lean to whatever side is heavier should you choose to hang them. (See orange heart in the third picture from the top.) I plan on making clover leaves for St. Patrick's Day next month.

Book fifteen: The Greatest Presidential Stories Ever Told by Rick Beyer

It's like gossip about our Commanders-in-Chief since the very beginning.

1. Did you know that John Hanson was the first elected president? Neither did I. Washington was the first president elected under the Constitution. Hanson was elected after the thirteen colonies ratified the Articles of Confederation in 1871. Under his leadership, Congress established the Treasury Department, adopted the Great Seal of the United States, and declared the fourth Thursday of every November "a day of Thanksgiving".

2. President Washington added the unscripted words "so help me God" to the oath of office.

3. President Franklin Pierce did not use a bible for his swearing in. Instead he placed his hand on a law book. Pierce was suffering from a crisis in faith after the death of his eleven-year-old son in a train accident on the way to Washington for the inaugural. He affirmed the oath, he didn't swear to it.

4. President Woodrow Wilson is on the $100,000 bill. These bills were printed in 1934 and 1935. They were not circulated among the public. They were illegal for individuals to own. They were used in gold transactions between Federal Reserve banks. Only 42,000 were printed. All known pieces are in museums. Other larger denominations include William McKinley on the $500 bill, Grover Cleveland on the $1,000 bill, and James Madison on the $5,000 bill.

These are just a small sampling of the cool things you can learn if you read this book.

15 down plus 37 to go.

Playdate canceled

The kid's going to be bummed but on the upside I cleaned both bathrooms, washed the dishes, had Darr take down the boxes, made the beds, picked up Hen's room, finished laundering the Lost & Found items from school so I can donate them, and am one third of the way through our home laundry. That's a pretty productive Saturday morning if I do say so myself.