Today, I found the ring of power. Apparently, it was forged in the second age to gain dominion over my parents. I think it's working.
I can read the inscription on the inside: One ring to rule them both, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the cuteness bind them. This is really cool because normally I can't read. I mean, I can recognize a dog or a ball or a car when I see one, but there's no reading. Except for this, which is really cool. I love my precious books.
When I put the ring on I turn invisible. I like this because then I can go into the bathroom and unroll toilet paper without getting into trouble. Also the ring has granted me preternaturally long life. Did you know I'm 392 today? Did I mention being invisible is awesome?
See, I bet you wish you could see me now. Me and my precious.
They say if you wear the ring its power will corrupt, but my daddy says I'm not even as tall as a Hobbit so I'm not susceptible to its powers. It can't corrupt us, can it? Oh no, it won't hurts us. But I'll just quickly take it off, just in case. The health plan sucks anyway.
Oh my god, its got me! I can't get it off! I'm going to turn into Gollum!
Whew, that was close. Samwise, what do I do now?
I shall cast it into the fires of Mt. Doom!
2 comments:
Oh my gosh - you are funny.
I often used to tell people I mourned the passing of the sheet metal era. Story told in pictures.
Perfect.
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