There is a help button at the top of the universal remote and it makes me feel stupid. The Yes and No questions it asks that are supposed to be helpful leave me more confused than before I pressed the button. Inevitably I bitch to Darren about it and he gets annoyed. We then both consider divorce while I secretly harbor the desire to send this universal remote sailing over the side of the bridge railing into the murky waters of the Willamette. Here's an example.
Me: <pressing the power button - waiting - t.v. appears to be on (the power button is lit) but there is no picture>
Me: <pressing Help>
Remote: "Did that fix the problem?"
Me: Did what fix the problem? <pressing No>
Remote: "Is the TV2 on?"
Me: Is TV2 the t.v. in front of me? If so, then yes. I think. The light's on but nobody's home. If no, then where's TV2? <pressing Yes>
Remote: "Is the AV Receiver on?"
Me: <checking to see if the receiver is on - to do this I have to get off the couch and walk over to the cabinet where the electronics are kept>
Me: <returning to couch and pressing Yes>
Remote: "Ensure the PVR is on."
Me: What the fuck is a PVR? Oh, right...Personal video recorder. <getting up from couch to see if TiVo is turned on>
Me: <returning to couch and pressing Yes>
Remote: "Is the TV2 set to the VIDEO 1 input?"
Me: You tell me, asshole. <pressing No>
Remote: "Now is the TV2 set to the VIDEO 1 input?"
Me: <pressing Yes>
Remote: "Is the AV Receiver set to Video1 input?"
Me: Stupid, frickin' remote. <giving up and using laptop to watch streaming video online>
4 comments:
That's very Ozzie Osbourne of you (if you've ever seen season 1).
At least you can find the remote - just wait 'til Henry starts really moving around. Then you won't even find the darn thing. (our TiVo remote tends to go missing for hours at end at least 5 times a week).
You litterally had me "lol-ing", and I needed it.
So I found Tim reading your blog. I was actually in the kitchen and heard some pretty serious laughing going on. I went in and this entry was on the screen (I'd left your blog up). Tim got reading this one, and called it "so funny." Tim's a total avs junkie, so right up his alley. Thanks for making my hubby's evening.
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