Hen discovers the joys of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Hen happened upon his papa watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and even though he only caught a small snippet of it he's already taken a shine to Spike.

Parks and Recreation, the chard episode

Parks and Recreation is fantastic. Funny, funny stuff. Spoiler alert: On last night's episode Ms. Nope goes to farmers' market where they are suprised by the super sexy look at the new chard farmer's stand. Leslie decides that the stand needs to be closed, you know, to protect the public from all those chardbodies. Without going into particulars, she sets things in motion and the chard farmer comes storming into the office to complain. This line had me laughing, well, I still laugh when I read it. The guy delivering the line did expertly.

"Look, chard is disgusting. You try selling it without sexy dancers. It's impossible. It's like, 'Hey, you like lettuce? Try this. It's worse. I tastes like kale took a dump on spinach.'"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Wise words from Ron Swanson

"You choose a thankless job, you can't be upset when nobody thanks you."

Summer programming

I'm enjoying this show. I stumbled across it whilst scanning Hulu for summer shows to watch. You should check it out the next time you're bored. Seriously. Go. Look at it, man. What are you waiting for? I just told you it was good.

Infamous crying gif

A little bit of honesty time here. I've been periodically watching old Dawson's Creek episodes. They are HILARIOUS! I typically turn it on when in the midst of cleaning and performing other household chores. You can totally leave the room while it's on, come back ten minutes later and not miss anything of note. The Dawson-Joey-Pacey love triangle is still being explored and teenage angst drips off the screen. (Better wipe that up before somebody slips.) Last night, I got to the point in the show when Dawson tells Joey to go to Pacey, when that sad sack (i.e. Dawson) finally realizes that asking a girl to give up an opportunity in Paris is one of the most selfish things you can do. There is a lot of adult(ish) soundish chatter and Joey sprints away, leaving Dawson - poor, poor Dawson - on the dock doing this:



Many of you may also know that James VdB is now currently playing a most excellent version of himself on Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23. His performance is nothing short of genius and I'm now very hopeful that he can have some longevity in his career. Anyway, in keeping with parodying himself, he's created this most excellent website where you can get animated gifts of him displaying any number of emotions. How awesome is that? (Answer: Most excellently awesome.)

And, please note that the man is so awesome he did a spoof of himself on the show that included him becoming People's Sexiest Man Alive. Without giving away too much, the guy got on a horse naked from the waist down. Admit it, you're totally interested now.

Downton Abbey

You are sucking me in. And I just started the series three minutes ago.

UPDATE: 2:12p.m. I love this show. Ahh, Lady Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham: "What is a weekend?" Hee hee.

SECOND UPDATE: 8:46P.M. "Oh, you poor thing. Is there anything worse than losing one's maid?" <and a few minutes later> "If you take Matthew now, when his whole future is at risk, he will love you to the end of his days." "Why, granny, you're a romantic." "I've been called many things but never that."

The Bachelor

Why, oh, why isn't my husband interested in the decision Brad is about to make? And how frickin' fast did I get through nearly an entire bottle of Pinot noir? These are the questions running through my mind right now. Also, there was just an advertisement for Grey's Anatomy. WTF? A musical episode? If Dr. Bailey breaks into song, well, I honestly just don't even know.

UPDATE: Poor Chantel (Chantal?). She should have said, "Um, Brad? I wore a f---ing bird on my shoulder for you." Because, really, who can argue with that?

Second UPDATE: Even semi-inebriated this show is painful to watch. Poor thing.

iPad command central

Darr hooked up our t.v.! And I can run it from Lola the iPad. He'd have to explain the particulars. As I understand it, our t.v., well, actually the cable isn't even hooked up right now as we have to buy a new TiVo to work with our t.v. but we have the t.v. hooked up to our Mac Mini so we can run Netflix and Hulu on the big new screen. Next up, he's going to rig it so we can play our iTunes library on our rockin' sound system. Awesome.

Singing in the Rain Glee-style

AA, eh?

Canadian hilarity. Love it!

Father's Day vs Mother's Day

Ms. A recently mentioned this t.v. show called The Middle and how it had an episode that contrasts Mother's Day with Father's Day. I can't stand Patricia Heaton but there was some hilarity, which you can see by clicking here. The gist is that Father's Day is a relaxing day for dad with thoughtful gifts*, his favorite food, and time he can spend doing what he wants. Also, he gets to sleep in. Until 10a.m. Mother's Day is a nightmare. Kids wake her up at 6:30a.m. with undercooked eggs and old fried bologna, dad completely forgets a gift and then in a scramble goes to buy her something ridiculous from the supermarket. Ugh. (Darr sometimes has trouble watching shows like Freaks and Geeks because it is sort of painful for him - all those pesky high school memories. Well, that's how watching this show felt to me, painful.)

I heard several lackluster accounts of Mother's Day from friends and my own was, um, not great. I know these things can be difficult for guys†. (I'm speaking in generalizations, this does not apply to all men and is not meant to be an admonishment to my husband.) It's hard to go wrong with a card, flowers or chocolates (make adjustments as needed - if your wife doesn't like store bought cards because she thinks it's ridiculous to spend $3 on a card, gather some materials and have the kid(s) make her a card. If she prefers candy to chocolate, buy her candy, etc.). A gift certificate to a spa might be appreciated. Better still, book a service on a weekend day when you are at home to watch the kid - it's hard to go wrong with a pedicure, even if they offer more than one type. A little bit can go a long way. Letting mom sleep in is always a plus. If you're going to have a kid "make" breakfast, let his/her job be that of sous chef so the breakfast is actually edible. If the kid is too young to refrain from bugging mom if she's around, leave the house for a few hours so mom can relax. Do all the ordinary things moms do in a day - laundry, cooking, dishes, and cleaning the litter box. (If your wife actually takes the day off from these everyday things, step up and do 'em so she isn't left with more work to do the following day.) Change and wash all the linens. Sweep the floor. Light a scented candle. Set the table and make her favorite dinner. Or order dinner and go pick it up. Try to remember, that if your wife is a stay-at-home mom, this is technically her only day that acknowledges all of the work that she does for your family, and if you ignore it or fall short, it might just leave her with the impression that you don't think she does a very good job‡.

*Darr hates gifts. He might hate them as much as I fear condiments. But I have heard of the Five Love Languages and know that I am a gift giver. I love to give gifts. It's one of the ways I show love. This means, of course, that every time a holiday rolls around, I feel compelled to buy them for Darren. I'm working on that, for Christmas Darr now gets one gift from me, one gift from Henry, and stocking stuffers. For Father's Day, Darr got a card from Henry, a box of chocolates, and a magazine subscription. Now, you might be thinking, sounds like a lackluster day for dad to me, and I'd be right on board with that sentiment. However, these "gifts" are things I typically pick up for Darren anyway, I just distributed them on a holiday. So, technically, not a gift but rather an ordinarily purchased item with a bow on it. This does two things - satisfies my need to buy a "gift," and satisfies Darren's need to not get an actual "gift."

†There should be a service where wives can register online, complete surveys on likes, dislikes, etc., link to friends, share emails and phone numbers, and select the dates they feel are important enough to celebrate. Then, wives could give their husbands the site name and husbands would be able to access all the info and be able to email his wife's friends for assistance. Of course, there would need to be built-in reminders for the men. Or maybe you could match a friend (or friends) to each holiday, the friend(s) would receive the reminder and contact your husband with an "I thought you might need some help for Jan's birthday and I have a few ideas," message. Hmmm...methinks I should discuss this with Darren immediately. He could make this site!

‡I presume that if mom works outside the house, too, she would have at least one yearly review in which her boss tells her how awesome she is and gives her a raise.

Happy Mother's Day, ya'll

While watching, Henry came up and pointed to the muffin on the screen and said: "I want one of those muffins." Hee hee.

Frickin' Jamie Oliver has us eating our fruits and vegetables

Since watching the first two episodes of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution I've been feeling a culinary guilt like never before. If Henry goes to school and his teacher shows him a tomato and he labels it a potato, well, mortification doesn't quite fit the bill. I'd be beyond mere mortification into a whole new realm of self-loathing as an ill-equipped and ineffectual parent. I tend to think we have been pretty good with the vegetables already and as fruit is one of Bean's favorite things, besides the prizes he can now capture out of his own nostrils, we always have it on hand, especially when it's berry picking season around here. (I swear I'm going to live in a tent in the berry fields this year. Yum!) All that to say that the other day I made this very tasty pasta dish with bell peppers, onions, and zucchini and also had roasted cauliflower and cut up cantaloupe. Admittedly the pasta was not homemade - can you imagine trying to make fusilli-shaped pasta at home - but it was organic. Does that earn me any brownie points? (Totally no food pun intended, even though brownies always sound good.)

What a cool show

It might even be more awesome if they helped regular folks find out their American roots. I'd sign up for that. In a recent conversation with the U.S. Census Bureau I had to explain my ethnic background and, rather shamefully, I don't even know all that I consist of - German, Italian, French, English, and who knows what else. On a side note, the guy I spoke with talked like Brad Pitt's character in Thelma and Louise. Not a bad visual when you're completing a census survey.

The Office U.K.

The Office is up on Hulu, proving once again how awesome Hulu is as a place to watch shows online. I've been wanting to catch this, but clearly not enough to pay to rent or buy the seasons, and now that patience has paid off. Sure, there will be commercials and sometimes those are annoying and make me sad, but I'll get to see the show so I'll suck it up and do so with only the occasional grumbling.

Leno equals barf in my book

I know there are people out there who like Jay Leno. I am not one of them. So I'm saddened to hear he's going back to The Tonight Show and ousting Conan O'Brien. I'm flabbergasted by NBC execs who think it's a good move to mess with a show that has been running for 60 years. I mean, seriously, is nothing sacred? Here's a statement O'Brien released:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

We locked our baby in the car and people are judging us.

If you aren't watching this show, you should be. There are at least two places online you can catch it - Hulu.com and ABC's site. It's hilarious and a current favorite here at the condo.

A little bit of magic

You don't have to be a hockey fan to know that's frickin' awesome.

Oh, and the kid is nine years old.

Hat Tip: Yahoo Sports

Those Ludacrises are coming in great

Finally, after a boring summer of boring nothing but boring on t.v., the fall shows have started. Did I say "finally" already because, seriously, it felt like an eternity of nothing on but crap. Admittedly, I was not overly jazzed about Parks and Recreation but this latest episode had me in stitches. Hilarious, people. I kid ye not. I've now subscribed to the show on Hulu.com so I can catch everything and not clutter up the old TiVo. Check this clip out:

The artist formerly known as Puff Daddy

He's on the latest episode of CSI: Miami and I just find myself wanting him to not be there. Ugh.