Trapped under a pet

Me:  Hen, come help me in the kitchen. 

Henry:  I can't move, Mamoe's* on me.  

<pause>

Henry:  I can lend you emotional support.  Go, mom!

*Mamoe (a.k.a. Mabel McMableson) is the cat.

Henry and (most of) the Es

Elliot, Eliav, Henry, and Eitan

Spokane Road

5th Grade Speaks Episode 1

And now our venture into podcasting begins. Hen interviewed his classmate and the results are pretty spectacular.

https://FifthGradeSpeaks.podbean.com/mf/play/3qyrmc/FifthGradeSpeaksEpisode1.m4a

Inspirobot

A bot that kicks out gems like these. I love it. 

Dear Internet, Help me name this boat!

Well, this idea backfired.

When the Natural Environment Research Council asked the Internet for help naming its new research vessel I'm sure they figured they would get some real interesting and humorous options but I bet they didn't guess that Boaty McBoatface would gain the traction it has. I don't believe the NERC is beholden to the name should it win the majority of the votes but I laugh nonetheless because just the thought of a research vessel on the high seas with that name is, well, quite frickin' awesome.

What makes this story better? The man who originally suggested the name has "profusely" apologized to NERC.

Another name worthy of mentioning: Clifford the Big Red Boat

First day of second grade

inspired by Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comic strip

Photoshop fun

Before

After

Hen was happily playing outside by himself and the old man was working so I got to play with Photoshop Elements. My technique is a bit sloppy and I'm rusty since I don't use it often - usually only once a year when I do Hen's birthday invites - but even with all that this still happened, which is pretty awesome, ifIdosaysomyself.

Same tune, new lyrics

Hen, singing to the tune of You are My Sunshine: You are my mama, my only mama. You are squishing my balls right now.


I had just picked him up and unintentionally was squishing his, well, balls. Sorry, kid.

Self-esteem run amok

One of the better quotes on the minimum wage...

“Why have one job at $15/hour, when you can have two at $7.50?”

Samantha Bee
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Tue, Jan 28, 2014

Untoward adventures of Frog and Blankie

Tsk, tsk.

Mmmmm, pie.

A morning bobble and jig

Background info: Hen's school is having a talent show and Hen has requested to do Taekwondo for his talent.

Setting the scene: He's in the process of dressing for school when he runs to the dining room still wearing his red and white striped with green trim pajama shirt and nothing else.

The event: He starts practicing his mad skills for the cat watching disinterestedly from her perch by her food bowl, but gets distracted by his bits flapping around and goes immediately into what can only be described as a morning penis dance.

Conclusion: This is the kind of thing one can expect to find at my house the mornings before school.

What does the fox say?

by mhars.
Explore more infographics like this one on the web's largest information design community - Visually.

If you haven't yet seen the completely awesome video, click here.

A singing Church and State

Best quote about having kids heard today

Brought to you by the folks at The Big Bang Theory...

Bernadette Rostenkowski: What was I thinking? I'd be a terrible mom.

Howard Wolowitz: Maybe with the first one. But kids are like pancakes, the first one's always a throwaway.


HA!

Overheard preschooler bathroom speak

Whilst toweling off young Henry had this to sing-say about his body parts...

"Penis, penis, penis. My penis is the goodest penis on the planet."

Magical invisibility cloaks and the preschool mind

Hen and his friends, Gideon and Elliot, were calling the chiffon(?) fabric pieces they had invisibility cloaks. I had my camera on hand. It seemed only natural to do this...

I had the boys line up with the cloaks off so I could take their picture.

Then I had them put the cloaks on and took a second picture to show them what happened.

The cloaks work, people.

Crimson Tide

This guy, Richard, posted a status update on Facebook about how a feminine hygiene products company lied in their advertisements. It is quite funny but the best part is the company saw it and responded.