Perhaps a small discussion is in order

Monsieur Henry wrote a lovely retelling of the parting of the Red Sea and titled it "Blaw,  Blaw, Blaw." Clearly, we need to talk with him about his spelling.*

*I type in jest. We'll bring up the disrespectful title, too. Oy vey. That title. What must his teacher think?

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Montana?

I thought this was a joke until I googled it. There really is a lawmaker in Montana who wants to strengthen the indecent exposure law to include clothing that ""gives the appearance or simulates" a person's buttocks, genitals, pelvic area or female nipple." 

A couple of things immediately come to mind…First, winter in Montana pretty much lasts from mid- to late October until April, which means it is cold a lot. So, unless bras in that state are made out of steel, that cold weather will likely cause stand-at-attention nipples that would be visible to others. Second, one of the scariest things reported was that he said "he'd trust law enforcement officials to use their discretion." And, finally, why would only tight beige clothing be a potential problem? Aren't sexy low blue jeans just as provocative? Is this a racist thing?

Regardless, this guy is a jackhole. Aren't there better things to be spending our time on? Why get your panties in such a bunch because 100 naked bicyclists rode through your town. You don't have to stare at them. Crikeys.

Book forty: Flash Boys by Michael Lewis

The cover states this tale is about a Wall Street revolt. And it is. One person with a higher moral compass and greater ethical standards found a few others with the same. They uncovered the truth behind high-frequency trading, and then sought to create a platform on which investors and sellers could meet and trade without anyone gaming the system.

What a tale.

I'll admit, I still don't have a firm grasp of how it all went down. There are Russian programmers, dudes laying pipe for cables, the biggest Wall Street firms, and a host of other characters. They took a system, computerized it, and then, like the slots in Las Vegas, rigged the system so they could reap the profits and minimize the risk only to themselves. And no one really wanted to do anything about it because, hey, when you're having the most fun at the party, why turn the lights on.

After finishing, I suggested to Darr that we move our retirement fund to the Royal Bank of Canada because the guys working there really are nicer up there. They believe in the system working fairly for all participants, not just the high-frequency traders. To their credit, those guys admitted the value of high-frequency traders. They recognized the place HFTs could have in the system, but they also realized the need for a system that allowed them to play without letting them have an advantage that created an unfair playing field for everyone else. (They were essentially legally ripping off the very investors they were working for. Tsk, tsk.)

The Puzzle Masters* spent days working through the many order types. All of them had one thing in common: They were designed to create an edge for HFT at the expense of investors…"[With] every rock we turned over, we found a disadvantage for the person who was actually there to trade." Their purpose was to hardwire into the exchange's brain the interests of high-frequency traders–at the expense of everyone who wasn't a high-frequency trader.     -pg 171

"Electronic front-running"–seeing an investor trying to do something in one place and racing him to the next…"Rebate arbritage"–using the new complexity to game the seizing of whatever kickback the exchange offered without actually providing the liquidity that the kickback was presumably meant to entice…"Slow market arbitrage"…occurred when a high-frequency trader was able to see the price of a stock change on one exchange, and pick off the orders sitting on other exchanges, before the exchanges were able to react…All three predatory strategies depend on speed.     -pg 172

By the summer of 2013, the world's financial markets were designed to maximize the number of collisions between ordinary investors and high-frequency traders–at the expense of ordinary investors, and for the benefit of high-frequency traders, exchanges, Wall Street banks, and online brokerage firms.     -pg 179

[Re: Dark pool arbitrage] IEX had build an exchange to eliminate the possibility of predatory trading–to prevent investors from being treated as prey…Almost magically, the banks had generated the  need for financial intermediation–to compensate for their own unwillingness to do the job honestly.     -pg 229 

40 down plus 12 to go.

*Puzzle Masters were the ones hired to design a system so that traders using it would be safe from the unscrupulous actions of HFTs. (Again, noting that not all HFT behavior was untoward.) In doing so, they figured out the ways in which HFTs stalked their prey, and were able to diagram the predatory tools used.

Hobby Lobby unhappiness

SCOTUS handed down a very disappointing decision in the Hobby Lobby case. I am frustrated and disappointed and angry and saddened and feel powerless.

These are awful feelings to have.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are 58.1% of women in the workforce in the United States. The incomes these women earn and the subsequent taxes they pay help to pay for roads, emergency services, and tax breaks that are given to corporations.

That public road leading up to your Hobby Lobby store, women's tax revenue helped pay for that. The fire truck that was dispatched when your store caught on fire, women's tax revenue helped pay for that, too. And when the state offered you tax breaks to set up your business, women's tax revenue helped pay for that.

We live in a pluralistic society, we won't agree on everything. But I do expect a fairer shake for myself and every other woman than we've been given. Just as my taxes are used for things that I do not agree with, so should yours. Believing in a given religion should not be an automatic opt out card of society when you derive many of the benefits of that society.

In the wake of this decision, and this one, too, I'd like to suggest the following:

1. We make all forms of birth control available over the counter.*
2. We give all women of child-bearing years an annual stipend to pay for contraceptives out of pocket.
3. For any women wanting an IUD, we set up a processing center where requests are received and payment is issued, with zero bureaucracy since having to go through this process is burdensome enough.
4. Any female employee who works for a company with an insurance plan that does not cover birth control, can opt out of said insurance and sign up for insurance under the ACA, with subsidies to cover the cost in its entirety.
5. Boycott Hobby Lobby stores. Women make an estimated 75-85% of all household purchasing decisions. Let your voices be heard by not supporting this company.


*I'm not sure what to do if the stores attempt to opt out of stocking contraceptives for religious reasons. What a world we live in, eh? Isn't this 2014?

Hobby Lobby, a.k.a. My head keeps feeling like it is going to explode

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Healthcare costs run amok in the U.S.

The brick wall that almost wasn't

Brick wall that almost wasn't.

I have been really sick for three out of the last five days. Wipe you out, sleep all day kind of sick. This really threw a kink into my party plans. This unhappy and unfortunate sickness meant I had to scale back my expectations for the party a touch. I gave up the photo booth ideas and the enchanted ceiling. Sure, I made the candles to hang from the ceiling but it didn't make sense to use the candles during the middle of the day. Luckily, I woke this morning feeling much improved, enough to finish some of the remaining projects - labeling the bottles for the Potions class (and letting Hen test drive the Potions class), baking a pumpkin pie and two cakes, and creating the brick wall. About that brick wall...

After dropping Hen off at school, I made my way to Home Depot to pick up brick colored paint for the 9 3/4 platform I was going to make to hang in our doorway. I explained what I was doing to the paint specialists, they gave me a little advice, I got my paint and headed home. The rest should have been just fine. 

But it wasn't. Because I forgot one very small but extremely important thing until I had stamped nearly half the sheet with the dark brick red paint. 

You know that feverish state you sometimes get when you're getting over a cold? In the midst of experiencing that, I suddenly heard the paint expert's voice in my head repeating, "It'll soak through. It'll soak through. It'll soak through." Oh. Holy. Fuddruckers. IT WILL SOAK THROUGH. And we just had new tile put in last year. A very pale color of tile. A very pale color of tile that I had just painted a red brick pattern onto. Doh.

I can't say there wasn't a moment of panicking and expletive mutterings before I figured out my best approach was to clean it up as fast as possible, which is what I did. Quickly. Before that dang paint dried. 

I wasn't sure I was going to recover from that setback. There wasn't enough time to order another cheap gray sheet, I was already feeling pretty bad about having to scrap a few of my other ideas. But thankfully, a trip to Michael's helped me see an option that was still available. With 15 sheets of 12"x12" red paper, I was able to cut "bricks" out and tape them to our front door. It's not perfect. The kids should no longer attempt to run through it to get to the other side. But it will do the trick and it is definitely better than nothing. 

Of course, there are more pictures to share...

Note: The kids will have Galleons. Hen and I made salt dough money.

Everyone leaves with an owl.

There are spells and potions inside, along with much-needed note taking pages.

I tried to make the sign with photocopied pages but it just didn't look right so I ended up tearing (GASP!) pages directly out of the cheap paperback I bought at Powell's.

It's not the same but I'm happy with it nonetheless.

Raring to go

The old man is currently showing me the route he'll take down the mountain when he returns to skiing, and explaining that what he used to do in five minutes will now, surely, take longer.

Romney vs Obama

I know I'm biased but what I hear from the candidates is this:

Romney: I have a plan. Blame everything on the last four years.
Obama: My plan has five points. One - <insert details here>. Two - <insert details here>. Three - <insert details here>. Four - <insert details here>. Five - <insert details here>. He's lying.

Are there really people who feel the problems our country has been experiencing since the collapse is solely a result of Obama's administration? I'd love to hear that explanation.

On pay:
Romney - Binders full of women! Hilarious. Okay, I'm sorry. The guy hasn't said one thing to answer the question about equal pay. He's talking about creating jobs - good ones! - so that employers will be looking to hire qualified people. Blah. Blah. Stronger economy. Get women into the workforce.

Obama: Talks about advocacy. Wants women to get the "same fair deal as men are". Okay.

So, this happened

Let me set the scene. I am sitting on the couch watching Doctor Who on my laptop. Henry is asleep in our bed. Christie is out.

I notice Henry paddling by. One assumes on the way to the bathroom. I follow. No reason to really. He can manage fine.

He's not in the bathroom. He is in his bedroom. Standing next to his bed. Facing the outside wall as if he was at the toilet. He is urinating on the floor.

My first thought will, I trust, resonate with every parent. My first thought was: well, let's not wake him.

What's that Ben Franklin quote?

"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." --Benjamin Franklin

I've been scanning the headlines about the shooting at the theatre in Aurora, CO, today and was horrified* when I came across this lady's quote:

“Americans have yet to understand the threats to their safety, and regard security as an intrusion into their privacy,” says Rachel Ehrenfeld, director of the American Center for Democracy, a New York-based research group.

“In Israel,” she says via e-mail, “well-trained security personnel monitor the entrance to every public building, even supermarkets, and public awareness has stopped many terror attacks and saved many lives.”

Here's my response to that:

1. I understand the threats and accept that those threats are part of the risk associated with living in a free country.
2. Security measures are an intrusion into my privacy. The Fourth Amendment guards against unreasonable searches and seizures, and requires that any warrant has to come from a judge and be supported by probable cause. It's part of due process. We should tread lightly when stomping all over the Constitution under the guise of making us "safer".
3. If I wanted to live in Israel, where every public entrance is monitored, I would move there. 
4. You can obtain public awareness without monitoring the movements of every person entering a public building.†
5. But most importantly, you cannot prevent every tragedy. I do not blame the theatre for this act of violence. I do not blame the crowd for not noticing there was a person wanting to do harm. I do not blame Hollywood for making a Batman film. It was awful. It happened. There will be future tragedies. We must not let our fear override our common sense.

*I was more horrified about the shooting.

†How many well-trained personnel would it take to monitor every public building in the United States?

Obama vs the stupid state of Arizona

"The birthers are back, baby. Oh you might have thought that President Obama's producing his long form birth certificate last spring might have been the proverbial stake through the heart of birtherism (the belief that the president is ineligible for his office because he was not born in the United States of America), but staking only kills vampires, and the birthers are more aptly compared to zombies: implacably shuffling forward no matter how many holes you shoot in (in this case) their theories."

For the rest of the story, click here. Oy mother fucking vey, people.

Boy outfit #19 Picture Day

Hen's school picture almost didn't happen, twice. First, he balked at having his individual picture taken. He was finally lured into sitting for it after I told him I'd read him a book once he was done. Second, when the entire class went outside and Hen proceeded to fight his teacher as they lined up for the shot. When she turned to me and said she thought Hen might not be able to be in the picture, that was fine by me. I don't let him hit me and I don't expect her to put up with that, either. So, I calmly said to Hen I was sorry he had made that choice because I was going to have to take away the LEGOs. After I asked him if he'd like to change his decision, he quickly got in line, and I swear his voice was one of the loudest when it came time to yell "cheese!" I hope he learns sometime soon that if he just does what he's asked it'll take two seconds versus the five to ten to fifteen minutes it can take if he tries to get his way. I mean, really, it's not like this kid has never seen the front of a camera before. Oy vey.

Also, I was a bit overwhelmed by what to put the kid in for his first official (pre)school photo. At least I was until Rachele wrote "what says 'Hen' to you" as a response to my Facebook status update concerning his picture attire. So, we went shopping, and wouldn't you know it there was an octopus shirt at Hanna Andersson and it totally said "Henry" to me.

Shopping guide info:
1. pants - Catimini, purchased on ebay.com
2. shirt - Hanna Andersoon, purchased at Hanna Andersson
3. superhero mask (not worn for official picture) - purchased at Thinker Toys

The birthers move on to Romney

Do they not have anything better to do?

Birther suit questions Romney eligibility

Give us your password

I read a recent article that discussed a new trend amongst employers interviewing prospective employees, they request your username and password in order to access your Facebook and email accounts. Wtf? I imagine if you're hard up for employment, it is pretty difficult to turn down that request since what hangs in the balance is your potential job. I want to take this moment to thank Sen. Richard Blementhal, D-CT, who is currently working on a draft of legislation that would make it illegal for employers to ask for your login information. If companies are able to search and find stuff out on their own, more power to them. But if I go to the trouble to set my privacy settings so that they aren't public, you can assume my comments aren't meant for the public.

The dog needs a bath

Dang. I totally sat down at the table with my laptop to type out my monthly letter to the kid but the smell of the dog is so overpowering in a so-horrifically-bad-I-must-leave-the-room type of way that I have to leave the room. Oy vey. I am booking a bath at the dog salon for this beast tomorrow. I just hope our family doesn't succumb to the smell and die tonight while we sleep.

A glimpse at the future

Is it just me or do Hen and Miss Avery look like older versions of themselves in these pics?

Oy vey. The teen years could spell trouble for the Smiths and us.

Ouch

Last week, it was a slip in the bathroom and a bonk on the back of his head. This week, it was a slip while he was precariously perched on the side of his bed reaching up for a book* and a bonk plus scrape on the front of his head.

We didn't even notice his head because he was making such a fuss over his arm, which is sporting a huge bruise above the elbow. It wasn't until he mentioned his head hurting that we turned on the light and saw that damage.

This morning, the bump is nearly gone and the scrape is looking much better. Thank you, Neosporin and Band-Aid Winnie the Pooh bandages.

*The third project on today's to-do list is reorganizing the shelves so the books are not up so high.

I support Planned Parenthood

I am extremely happy the decision by the Komen Foundation to pull funding from Planned Parenthood was reversed. Hopefully, they will think twice before doing something so ridiculously stupid in the future. I think Representative Michael M. Honda said it best, "The fact that the Komen Foundation is using this investigation as the basis for its decision is distressing." Indeed, sir. Thanks to the Internet, I was able to go online and immediately donate to Planned Parenthood to show my support. I'm still snickering over the claim from the Komen folks that the initial reactions they received were positive. Their own staff members were resigning in protest.

The gall of some people

Again, I know I should not read the Religious Clause blog because all I do is go ape when I read something I think is completely ridiculous, like one of the latest posts in which a woman convicted of embezzlement asked that 10% of her monthly pay be excluded from garnishment because she wants to continue to tithe to her church.

Um.

Wait.

You embezzled funds from your employer. Is that something a devout religious person does? Perhaps she needs to read a little more of the good book. I'm fairly confident stealing from your employer is a no no. It's not as if she took a loaf of bread to feed her starving children - she stole money, and a lot of it. There is a $1.86 million dollar balance on her restitution order. Calculating average attorney's fees and the like, that puts her haul at just over $1 million.