Prom Night

My most wonderful husband agreed to watch Monsieur Henry this evening so I could catch a movie at the theatre. An entire movie. From start to finish. No interruptions. Because scary movies lose more when not seen in a theatre than chick flicks I decided on Prom Night. I expected it to be slightly soft on the scary scale because of the PG-13 rating, and it was, but not to the detriment to the film. It does mean, however, that there are fewer lessons to be gleaned from watching it. And so it is time once again for...

Prom Night Lessons Learned

1. Prom night is meant to be fun but not too fun. Don't rent a hotel suite with your girlfriends and their respective dates when your crazy obsessed teacher has escaped from the mental institution. If you go to prom when he's on the loose, you can kiss those friends goodbye. (Also known as the 'enjoy your friends before your obsessed teacher kills 'em' lesson.)

2. As a blond you may have more fun but you also have an obsessed teacher who will come to your house looking for you. Your obsessed lunatic of a teacher will do whatever his crazy mind tells him to do in an attempt to find you, including stabbing your mom to get her to rat you out. (She won't even though she sees you under the bed. She's your mom.) From this point on expect to find more dead people whenever you crawl under beds to escape your obsessed teacher. Knowing they are already there will prevent any unnecessary and loud reactions when you scoot into them as you hide.

3. Crazy obsessed teachers who escape institutions are likely to show up at your prom and get their crazy hands on a master key by killing the maid so they can get into your suite. When you go to the suite by yourself and you have a weird feeling you aren't alone. You are not, in fact, alone. Don't go investigate weird sounds from within. For God's sake, use that female intuition to recognize danger before your crazy obsessed teacher jumps out at you.

4. The girl with the flashiest pair of boobs on display inevitably will be killed. If you walk into prom and notice your boobs are the most proudly on display, quickly turn around and leave the building.

5. Sure it's prom and you want to look your best but try to consider the possibility that there just might be a crazy obsessed teacher in the hotel where your event is taking place and that high heels are not the appropriate escaping-the-clutches-of-an-obsessed-teacher shoes. Bullets travel fast but knives don't so it's in your best interest to wear sensible shoes if you truly want to avoid having your throat slashed.