A full account of a very long day containing a great many incidents and peculiarities

4:30 Dad yanks me out of bed, slaps some boots on me and loads me in the car. I tell Mom she cannot go to the Mexico but they act as if they didn't hear me. That's my move, people.

4:45 We drive to Amber's and I wave good-bye to Mom. She's off to The Mexico. I am very composed.

4:46 I inform Dad we're now going to Grandpapa's house. Dad wha-wha-wha's like a Charlie Brown parent and so I clearly state that Mom said that when she went to The Mexico, I got to go to Grandpapa's house. I am very clear on this point.

5:00 Dad takes me to Hot Cake House for Pancakes. I love me some pancakes, so I let the Grandpapa thing slide for a while and some girl says "you're up late, missy" and that's not right b/c it's not late it's early and I'm not a missy I'm a big boy but I look at my papa and we decide to let it pass. Otherwise I like Hot Cake House a lot they gave me my own plate.

5:45 I'm done with my pancakes and so we're ready to leave.

5:46 I make it clear to Dad that we are going to Grandpapa's house. Dad assents. Grudgingly, after I remind him again what Mama said.

6:00 Dad has taken us home. I am very annoyed but he still maintains that we are going to Grandpapa's house. This doesn't look like Grandpapa's house; how little does he think I am? Anyway, we pee & feed the dog and grab a spare set of clothes for me and climb back in the car.

6:45 We get to Grandpapa's. I think Dad thought I'd go to sleep on the drive, but I'm way too excited about The Mexico and Pancakes and Grandpapa to sleep, people. He's a bit of a rookie at this, so I'll cut him some slack. Grandpapa is home and so I get to have a cookie. That's what grandparents do.

8:00 Grandpapa leaves for work. Bye Grandpapa! Dad and I hang around Grandpapa's house some more since it's got fun things like super high beds I can jump off and a kitty and a train track path and two fountains and a recycling truck and it's Grandpapa's!

9:10 Dad bundles me into the car again. I protest mightily but to no avail. I do not want to leave Grandpapa's house. Dad managed to change me out of pajamas into my jeans but left my rain coat and spare shirt and dirty jammies at Grandpapa's house. Plus, I don't think he noticed* that I left nuts all over Grandpapa's kitchen. (Ed.: Noticed but forgot to tidy up. Surprisingly hard to remember things with screaming toddler in tow.)

9:15-10:15 Nap.

10:15 We park in NW Portland by Parr Lumber so I get to watch construction trucks go by. They aren't the big cool yellow ones but I point them out as Dad reads the paper. He tries to seem as excited about them as I am but I see right through him. Please don't let him know that tho'.

10:45 We walked over to Playdate PDX and I showed Dad the dragon. I told Dad if you go in the dragon's mouth it would eat you and Dad said if I went in the dragon's mouth I could see Andrew and Josie. So we went and Dad was right and we didn't get eaten and so that was good. I was very exited to see Josie but then very sad b/c by the time I got all the way out to their table they were gone (Ed.: bathroom) and my Dad was gone (Ed. couldn't keep up) but I found my way back to the castle and then Josie was there and Dad was there and Andrew was there and so we played in the castle.

11:00 I tell Dad I need food so he buys me a hard boiled egg, a banana, cucumbers, carrots and snap peas. I love me some hard boiled egg, people. Mmmm Mmmm. Also, I ate all my veggies because I am the magic boy who eats his veggies except 1/2 the carrots because they give you a lot of carrots and really I can't eat so many carrots all at once. I could eat that many radishes tho'.

12:15 At this point I am making it clear to everyone that I would prefer to go to Josie's house and knock on the door and walk walk walk and then go down the stairs in the basement and play with her toys. I had to say this one hundred million times but eventually Andrew relented and so we left for Josie's house even though we we only had like twenty minutes and so we left and I saw a forklift at Parr Lumber and it was very cool and so we watched that and I said I could have a forklift toy and then Dad made couple of wrong turns and he told me he didn't really know which way to go but I asked him if I could have a forklift toy and then we got caught in some construction and couldn't make the left he needed to make and I asked if we were looking for a forklift toy and anyway he doesn't really drive very fast so it took forever but I said we could go to a toy store for a forklift toy then by the time we got to 33rd & Hawthorne I said "now you're going the right road papa". I'm very helpful that way. I asked where my forklift toy was and Dad said it was on a boat and we did get to Josie's house eventually but I didn't even get to take my boots off b/c we had to go right then to Tiny Hip Hoppers and see teacher Erika even though I just wanted to go to Josie's house and knock on the door and walk walk walk and then go down the stairs in the basement and play with her toys.

1:35 We are late for Tiny Hip Hoppers. Mama drives faster. Just sayin'.

1:36 I asked Teacher Ericka if she had a forklift toy but she didn't and when I heard that I ran back to my papa and spent the rest of the class there. Well, I had to pee but I spent the class on Dad's lap and I was sad b/c Dad said I couldn't have a sticker if I didn't participate just like I can't play with the train if I don't participate in swimming and so I was a little sad and Josie got a star sticker and was very happy and so I turned to my Dad and said .... I want to play on the playground.

2:20 It starts to rain so we leave playground for Alexandra's. I was very sad that papa didn't bring any treasure with us, I was collecting treasure (Ed.: bark dust) from the pirate ship but he left it all there and I was very sad and so I cried and Alexandra she lives all the way very far past Grandpapa's even and so it takes a while to get there when Dad's driving so I fell asleep but only two exits early and I perked up right away when Mikah saw me and started barking. I gave Diego a hug when we got inside.

3:05 We've been here for all of three minutes and I've met Miss Winnie and said hi and papa tells me all serious that he's going to go for a little bit and so I say: OK, you've got to go now and I think I make it sound a little too much like a command for my papa's liking but he gets his shoes on and I open the door for him and say bye.

4:45 Papa comes back and Alexandra and I are making sandwiches for each other and I'm cooking a frittata and Emmet is making cupcakes and I give my papa a cookie and a mushroom and I'm upset that papa took the cookie apart to lick the inside since it wasn't that type of cookie and then Sara comes home and then Alexandra and I start running around and around and shooting things and pushing big dump truck and it's about the best thing ever.

5:00 I force my papa to throw me over his shoulder and carry me to the door b/c I really don't want to go. I'm very tired but mostly I want to stay and watch a movie and Dinosaur Train and make more cookies and run and push trucks around and stuff. I love Miss Alexandra.

5:45 We get home and take the dog to pee even though it's raining and papa forgot my rain jacket at Grandpapa's house but I have another jacket and my superhero boots and there are big hugest puddles ever from all the rain and so I splash in the puddles for a very very long time and I am very wet but I told my Dad that I really had fun splashing in the puddles but since I got super wet I have to get changed into dry clothes so we did that and I had my Kapow shirt on now and ... wait a minute ... pajama pants. Well, papa snuck one by me there but that's OK.

6:30 I choose mac and cheese for dinner b/c even though I like soup it doesn't feel like a soup night so since I haven't eaten anything since 11:00 I'm pretty hungry (Ed.: oops) and so I eat all of my mac and cheese and I asked papa to warm it even though at first I wanted cold and he also got me cucumbers and radishes and toast and then he put me to bed.