The perfect exercise

When I woke up this morning, Darr's cousin Amanda was on her way outside to shovel the snow off the driveway. I offered to help. And after about a half an hour of vigorous snow removal I conclude this is the perfect exercise. It is relatively low impact, no jarring impact on your joints. You use your core muscles to keep you balanced on the icy snow at the same time you throw the snow off the driveway, you use your legs and arms to push the snow, and you use your back and arm muscles to heave the snow over the snowbank. It's the most excellent combination of cardio and weight-training I've found to date. And because digging your car out of the snow is a necessity if you want to keep the job that allows you to pay your mortgage, that's all the motivation you need.

I do have a pic of our finished work but I'll have to wait until I return home to post it. Also, men are funny. My uncle-in-law (Darr's dad's brother) and Darr's dad both poked their heads out to watch us women shoveling the snow and as we neared the very end of our project, Darr's uncle Ron shouts out to us something like, "Don't worry about that, girls. Come on in. We'll finish it up." Um, what? And take all of the glory from my first snow shoveling experience? I don't think so. I'm proud to say Amanda and I completed the driveway ourselves. (Nicely done, Amanda*.)

*Not to be confused with Barry Manilow's "Mandy".

Christmas karaoke

I would be remiss if I didn't post about my recent experience at church. I think, besides weddings and funerals, I haven't been to an actual church service in almost, well if I tell you I'll date myself so let's just say it's been a very, very long time. I felt quite uncomfortable upon entering the church facility for the Christmas Eve service with Darr's extended family.

As luck would have it, we were able to secure upfront seating so I had a clear view of the pastor and the other members of the flock that took to the stage during the night's festivities. (This guy sported the broadest smile ever.) What I realized about two minutes into the opening sermon was the force of these people's convictions. Just as I believe there is no God, these folks believe there is one. Fortunately, the Baptists at this church are relatively gentle with their approach, there was no condemnation of homosexuals or rallying against abortion, just a relatively tame sermon about Jesus and all that he has done for the Christian people. (Of course, I'd hardly expect a fire and brimstone lecture from the pulpit on Christmas Eve.)

The building was nondescript, the inside modestly decorated with white Christmas lights, a tree, a giant wreath on the wall, and some faux presents on the staging area where the pastor spoke and sang. There was a slideshow presentation set to music which underlined the importance of recognizing there was something "missing" from your life, a one-man skit with a very transparent message about missing your "gift" from God, a silent skit where kids re-enacted the virgin birth story (while the story was relayed via voiceover from another kid), and lots and lots of singing. We were sitting and we were standing and we were singing and we were listening to others sing (two folks on stage reminded me of the SNL characters (pictured on the right)). I had no idea traditional Christmas songs like Silent Night and The First Noel had so many verses. Thankfully, the kind folks at the church had a screen by the stage that displayed the lyrics for the audience, giving a karaoke-esque feel to the audience Christmas caroling. I quickly realized that when the "LHBC Lic. # 132159" message displayed on the bottom of the page it meant the song was almost over. Phew.

The unfortunate thing is that I felt like a hypocrite sitting in the church for the hour plus we were there, which made it difficult to just relax and enjoy the service. I made a swift getaway when it was over and very much appreciated the cold, crisp air I sucked in once outside the building. Christianity may work for some but it's definitely not for me.

Merry Christmas!

I know we're still two days away but Darr and I will be leaving Portland within the hour to begin our trek across the U.S.* to visit the Johnstons in Kelowna, B.C. In fact, I still have some packing to do so I must keep this short. Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Thanks to Petar & Svetla for agreeing to stay at our place to take care of Ellie & Mabel while we're away. Changing the litter box is never enjoyable but it is a necessary step to retaining well-behaved cats and a house that does not smell like cat pee. Plus, we have cute cats.

Thanks to Nick & Megan for agreeing to dog sit Beauty the wonder dog while we are away. She can be a handful with all the jumping, chewing, biting... Wait, that's not our dog. She eats sleeps, plays, poops, and pees in a non-puppyish, irritation-free way. Perhaps Beauty's appearance will take Tessa's (the cat's) mind off of her normal daily routine so you don't find cat puke around the house in the morning.

Merry Christmas!

*Across the U.S. = drive through Washington

A llama Christmas

Okay, the most creative gift so far this Christmas season arrived via e-mail this morning. My good friend Jessica has donated money towards the purchase of a llama in our name from Heifer International. I was so inspired by this gift, I immediately went to the site and bought a flock of baby chicks in Jessica's name and finished our Christmas shopping for a few other members of the family, buying goats and ducks. Here's what the four gifts will provide families, as described on the Heifer International web site:

Llamas -

When resources are scarce, it's important that livestock don't use up land reserved for people. At home in rough, mountainous areas of Latin America, llamas are a blessing to families with limited pasture land, and they play a pivotal role in the cultural life of indigenous communities on the high plains of Bolivia, Ecuador and Peru.

Women weave their llamas' fleece into warm clothing to wear or sell. They load them up with goods for market and trek with them across rugged slopes at high altitudes. As they travel, llamas' padded feet don't damage the fragile terrain and their selective browsing doesn't destroy sparse vegetation.

Llamas and their kin, the alpaca, provide Heifer families with invaluable sources of transportation, income and wool, which is prized for making blankets, ponchos, carpet and rope.

Llamas are remarkably disease resistant and require little care; they can carry small loads for distances over rugged slopes at high altitudes.

Goats -

Did you know that more children around the world get their protein from goat's milk?

That's because goats thrive in extreme climates where other livestock can't, and eat grasses and leaves that cause other animals to turn up their noses (or snouts)!

And if it's a Heifer goat, one struggling family can receive up to a gallon of milk from it every single day. That's more than enough milk not only to drink, but to use to make cheese, butter or yogurt, plus to sell whatever's left and buy much-needed clothes, school supplies and medicine.

Although they appear tough and gruff, goats are actually so gentle that it's usually the family's children who regularly care for them. In this way, goats really do become "nannies;" teaching their young caregivers all kinds of skills while building their self-esteem.

Chicks -

Chickens are a real value. Starting at six months, they can lay up to 200 eggs a year — a reliable source of protein for children who otherwise subsist mostly on starches. Extra eggs can be sold to pay for school, clothes and medicine. And in the vegetable garden, chickens peck at bugs and weeds, scratch up the soil and enrich it with droppings.

Chicks are an elegant solution to improving a family's crops and their diet — and to the dilemma of what to give your socially aware friends this season.

Ducks -

When it comes to gift-giving, ducks make the perfect gift. These delightful creatures are good for the environment and people too. Ducks add protein to the diet from eating eggs, money in the pocket from selling eggs and ducks, and better crops in the fields, as ducks remove weeds and bugs and add fertilizer. Honor a friend or loved one with a flock of Heifer ducks sent in their name to a family in need.

If you are still struggling to find that perfect gift for the last person on your Christmas shopping list, I highly recommend giving to this organization. It makes the world better. Many thanks to Jessica for this most fabulous gift. Merry Christmas!

Recipe Corner: Italian-style Stew

Today's recipe is surprisingly tasty but totally weird. I hear "stew" and I think beef, potatoes, carrots, celery, and onions not capers, olives, lemons, and artichoke hearts but somehow these ingredients blend to create a delightfully fresh stew that is filling without being heavy. It's the perfect winter food.

Ingredients:
1 lb boned, skinned chicken thighs, rinsed and patted dry
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons each salt and ground black pepper, plus more to taste
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 large garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon capers, drained and minced
grated zest and juice of 1 lemon
1/2 cup dry white wine
1 3/4 cups chicken broth
1 lb Yukon Gold potatoes, scrubbed and cut into 3/4-inch cubes
8 oz thawed frozen artichoke hearts, quartered if large
1 cup finely chopped parsley
1 cup pitted medium green olives
lemon wedges (optional)

Directions:
Cut chicken thighs into 2 or 3 chunks and combine in a resealable plastic bag with the flour, salt, and pepper. Shake to coat. Heat oil in a large pot over medium-high heat, add chicken in a single layer, and cook, turning once until browned, 4 to 5 minutes. Transfer cooked meat to a plate. Reduce heat to medium. Add garlic, capers, and lemon zest and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add wine and simmer, scraping up browned bits from bottom of pan, until reduced by half, about 2 minutes. Add broth, potatoes, and chicken and return to a simmer. Lower heat slightly to maintain simmer, cover, and cook 10 minutes. Add artichokes to the pot and stir. Cover and cook until potatoes are tender, 8-10 minutes. Stir in parsley, lemon juice to taste, and olives. Serve hot.

Serves 4

Christmas: Part Three

My sister and two nephews came over Monday night for yet another pre-Christmas Christmas celebration. So we had another session of gift unwrapping (yea!) which yielded me the cutest doorstop in the world (see picture provided), season one of Weeds, a few homemade ornaments from the boys, and a small basket of spa goodies, including some margarita chapstick that is absolutely amazing! Darr got the Johnny Cash Folsom Prison cd and a book for his collection (a little Henry James for light holiday reading). The boys took home an assortment of presents - clothes, toys, books. And for Laurie, a bottle of Sokol Blosser's ice wine and a silver necklace with the the letter "l". This holiday season is off with a bang.

I originally titled this entry "Christmas: Take Two" but I realized while typing that I met my girlfriends for brunch a few weekends ago and got some gifts from them. (Tan, the Old Navy pajamas are fabulous and I absolutely love the smell of the Marshmallow Body Soufflé!) This means I've officially had three Christmases so far this season. There are still two to go, one on Friday evening when Darr and I exchange gifts with Brother Nick and Megan and open our gifts from my parents, and then the actual Christmas on Dec. 25, which we'll share with Darr's dad, cousins, uncle, and aunt up in Kelowna, B.C. Canada, that is.

On a side note, Darr confessed yesterday that he enlisted the aid of a friend to help shop for me this year and now there is a mysterious gift wrapped under the tree with my name on it. Hmmm...

A pre-Christmas Christmas

Darr's family is dispersing for the holidays so we decided to host a pre-Christmas Christmas at our house last Saturday, we were the only ones who had bought and decorated a tree. As during the week my housekeeping duties are lax at best, that meant waking up early and getting started with a thorough cleaning of the house so the in-laws didn't think I was a complete and total slob of a wife. Vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the glass on the coffee table, putting away and/or hiding the various piles of crap (e.g., magazines, unopened mail, etc.), laundry, making the bed, folding the clothes, putting the clothes away, washing and drying the dishes, and food prep. Whew! I'm tired just rehashing all of the work that goes into having people over. But it is totally worth the effort because the house remains clean even after the people are gone so you get, at the very least, a few days of clean house before the crap and dirt and disarray creeps back.

Anyway, our guests started to arrive around 4pm and Darr got to work preparing the pork roast and the various side dishes that would comprise our pre-Christmas Christmas dinner. It is truly amazing how much food you can consume when you're doing nothing but sitting around gabbing to family members. Olives, peanuts, chips, s'mores (provided by Jyla) were all snacked on while we waited for dinner and the gift exchange. And, your alcohol intake can be pretty impressive over the course of an evening. I don't know what all Darren drank (mulled wine, wine, scotch, rye, etc.) but I do know the following morning he had a wee bit of a headache.

And finally, we ended the evening unwrapping our presents. I have to say that watching a baby open gifts is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Seriously. What's wrong with us? Why do we torture ourselves with having the baby awake to unwrap gifts? Okay, the baby is cute, but it just wants to eat ribbon. This is just the beginning of Gavin's first Christmas but he was loaded with stuff, including super cute outfits, a gazillion toys, and lots of books.

Darr got wireless headphones, I had to tell you so I could include the photo of him wearing the headphones. How hilarious is that?! We got two beautiful Shun kitchen knives and a gift certificate to some Japanese restaurant in Tigard. I got a lovely Coach Mini Skinny wallet and the Nike + iPod gear so I can start tracking my workouts. Now I just need to go and buy another pair of shoes...

Peanut butter + dog = photo op

Peanut butter treats topped with Jif.

Anticipation.

Beauty the wonder dog eats the PB treat.

Enjoyment.

Disney's next commercial

Reporter: "Hey, Don, you've just lost your job as Defense Secretary, what are you going to do now?"

Rumsfeld: "I'm going to Disneyland."

Unknown acquaintance at Rumsfeld's side: "Um, sir, they don't want you there."

Rumsfeld: "Disney World?"

U.A.: "No, sir."

Rumsfeld: "Six Flags?"

U.A.: "Not there either, boss."

Rumsfeld: "Well, where can I go?"

Southpark Satan: "Come on down here with me and Saddam, you crazy old coot."

U.A.: "Alcatraz?"

Our friends in sketch

I got this via e-mail today and it was too good not to share. If this picture isn't a reason to have a sketch done of you and your loved one, I don't know what is.
To our friends in Seattle, we'll be seeing you soon. Perhaps carrying a framed version of this artwork to hang at your hearth and home.

Oh, Christmas tree

Sometimes my husband is so awesome I have to blog his awesomitude* to the world. Yesterday was one of those days. I left to go to work in the morning and our house was tree-less. I came home and the smell of pine hit me before I even got the door open. The trail of pine needles on the floor led my gaze to the far right corner of our living room (if you're standing at the front door looking west) where, lo and behold, a fabulous Christmas tree stood, perfect in its slight lopsidedness. Woohoo! Darr and his dad had stopped by Spoiled Rotten (where I work on Sundays, in case you didn't already know) to buy some gifts for babies Gavin and Parker (Darr's nephew and second cousin respectively) and then happened upon a tree lot just down the street so they grabbed a tree for me. Beaut and I hopped the elevator downstairs and went to retrieve my Christmas boxes so I could decorate our bare little tree. I'll get a picture posted as soon as I can decide which ornament to highlight.

*awesomeitude [awesome-i-tood]
-noun
1. state of being awesome

Etymology
From Latin awesome-itudo signifying a noun of state of awesomeness.

Holiday lights

Darr and I took Beauty the wonder dog out for a walk this evening. Yes, it was freezing but wrapped up in scarves with layers of clothing, gloves, and keeping a brisk pace, you hardly notice. Until you stop to watch the boats on the river, lit up with festive holiday lights in what appears to be a practice run for a mini boat parade. In Christmas lights we saw Santa water skiing, Frosty the snowman, a scuba diver with underwater presents, Santa on top of a submarine, and some phallic-looking light display that turned out to be a lighthouse on closer inspection. Also, the Oregon Rail Heritage Foundation is running a steam locomotive decked out in holiday lights on the track that goes by our house. From our vantage point on the trail, the train totally looked like the Hogwarts Express. I was expecting to see little kids darting out of the cars wearing caps and carrying magic wands. Darr and I are going to try and take the 40-minute ride that is being offered a number of times each day during the next two weeks.

Am I becoming a sandwich person?

I normally don't eat sandwiches. This is probably because most sandwiches have one condiment or another and I absolutely hate condiments. But lately I have been exploring the sandwich world and I have to say I like it. I believe I am becoming a sandwich person. French dips, turkey sandwiches - as long as I can place the order without any mayo, ketchup, or mustard, I'm good. Today I met Sara for lunch at Bijou Café and had the most amazing sandwich to date, an Italian herb-crusted ham with Gruyère and pesto panini. It was outstanding. The Gruyère was a perfect match for the salty ham. The pesto added a compelling burst of flavors. It all blended to create the tastiest sandwich ever. If you ever get the opportunity to order this sandwich, do so, you won't be disappointed.

Darr's birthday weekend

This weekend we celebrated Darr’s birthday by doing the one thing he detests more than anything on the planet, Christmas shopping. It’s not that Darr doesn’t like to shop, he does. It’s that he hates presents. He doesn’t like to give them. He doesn’t enjoy receiving them. It’s all a bunch of nonsense as far as he’s concerned. Knowing this, I set out to punish him for his bah humbug spirit by forcing him to spend the bulk of his birthday wading through knee-deep piles of exhausted Christmas shoppers at the mall. Six hours after we left the house we returned with bags and bags of presents for various family members and friends. All that and half a case of champagne. We definitely did our part to help the economy by being good consumers. Darr was quite the trooper and I’m happy to report that I have not been killed as a result of my actions (i.e., dragging my husband Christmas shopping). And as Darr was kind enough to declare excitement about a couple of items while we were roaming the aisles of various stores, I’m going to go back to the mall and do a little shopping for him. You know, to buy him presents that he doesn’t need or want and will have to fake appreciation for in order to avoid hurting my feelings. Merry Christmas.

Why am I so cold?

Because it's 63 degrees in here. Life is very cold at the condo right now. Brrrr.

Happy birthday, Darren!

New month, new banner

You know the drill, it's December and with it comes the new monthly banner. Had I been on time with this banner, I wouldn't have had to use the oh-so-handy 'post and comment options' to backdate this entry but, alas, I'm very busy and important* and could not find time in my schedule to complete such mundane tasks as creating a new banner. And it should be noted that the finished product is as much owing to my creative genius as it is to my husband's computer genuis (his knowledge of Photoshop vastly outweighs mine). The graphic for this month was found after performing a Google search for creating blog banners, and yes, I wanted it to look exactly the way it does. My latest great find of the year - istockphoto. Now all of us artistically challenged folks have a place to buy good, cheap artwork. You're welcome.
*E-mail me or comment with the name of the movie and the name of the actor who says this line and receive a $10 iTunes gift certificate.