Thursday, July 01, 2010

Father's Day vs Mother's Day

Ms. A recently mentioned this t.v. show called The Middle and how it had an episode that contrasts Mother's Day with Father's Day. I can't stand Patricia Heaton but there was some hilarity, which you can see by clicking here. The gist is that Father's Day is a relaxing day for dad with thoughtful gifts*, his favorite food, and time he can spend doing what he wants. Also, he gets to sleep in. Until 10a.m. Mother's Day is a nightmare. Kids wake her up at 6:30a.m. with undercooked eggs and old fried bologna, dad completely forgets a gift and then in a scramble goes to buy her something ridiculous from the supermarket. Ugh. (Darr sometimes has trouble watching shows like Freaks and Geeks because it is sort of painful for him - all those pesky high school memories. Well, that's how watching this show felt to me, painful.)

I heard several lackluster accounts of Mother's Day from friends and my own was, um, not great. I know these things can be difficult for guys†. (I'm speaking in generalizations, this does not apply to all men and is not meant to be an admonishment to my husband.) It's hard to go wrong with a card, flowers or chocolates (make adjustments as needed - if your wife doesn't like store bought cards because she thinks it's ridiculous to spend $3 on a card, gather some materials and have the kid(s) make her a card. If she prefers candy to chocolate, buy her candy, etc.). A gift certificate to a spa might be appreciated. Better still, book a service on a weekend day when you are at home to watch the kid - it's hard to go wrong with a pedicure, even if they offer more than one type. A little bit can go a long way. Letting mom sleep in is always a plus. If you're going to have a kid "make" breakfast, let his/her job be that of sous chef so the breakfast is actually edible. If the kid is too young to refrain from bugging mom if she's around, leave the house for a few hours so mom can relax. Do all the ordinary things moms do in a day - laundry, cooking, dishes, and cleaning the litter box. (If your wife actually takes the day off from these everyday things, step up and do 'em so she isn't left with more work to do the following day.) Change and wash all the linens. Sweep the floor. Light a scented candle. Set the table and make her favorite dinner. Or order dinner and go pick it up. Try to remember, that if your wife is a stay-at-home mom, this is technically her only day that acknowledges all of the work that she does for your family, and if you ignore it or fall short, it might just leave her with the impression that you don't think she does a very good job‡.



*Darr hates gifts. He might hate them as much as I fear condiments. But I have heard of the Five Love Languages and know that I am a gift giver. I love to give gifts. It's one of the ways I show love. This means, of course, that every time a holiday rolls around, I feel compelled to buy them for Darren. I'm working on that, for Christmas Darr now gets one gift from me, one gift from Henry, and stocking stuffers. For Father's Day, Darr got a card from Henry, a box of chocolates, and a magazine subscription. Now, you might be thinking, sounds like a lackluster day for dad to me, and I'd be right on board with that sentiment. However, these "gifts" are things I typically pick up for Darren anyway, I just distributed them on a holiday. So, technically, not a gift but rather an ordinarily purchased item with a bow on it. This does two things - satisfies my need to buy a "gift," and satisfies Darren's need to not get an actual "gift."

There should be a service where wives can register online, complete surveys on likes, dislikes, etc., link to friends, share emails and phone numbers, and select the dates they feel are important enough to celebrate. Then, wives could give their husbands the site name and husbands would be able to access all the info and be able to email his wife's friends for assistance. Of course, there would need to be built-in reminders for the men. Or maybe you could match a friend (or friends) to each holiday, the friend(s) would receive the reminder and contact your husband with an "I thought you might need some help for Jan's birthday and I have a few ideas," message. Hmmm...methinks I should discuss this with Darren immediately. He could make this site!

‡I presume that if mom works outside the house, too, she would have at least one yearly review in which her boss tells her how awesome she is and gives her a raise.

2 comments:

Dr. A said...

Amen, sistah! I had a great moms day - walked to the farmers market.

A short story: Erin was asking about vacation. Dad said it's when we don't work and go away for fun. He amended it by informing her Mom doesn't get vacation. She just goes to half-time.

Amber said...

I've only ever watched that show twice (just can't stand Patricia Heaton) and it was that episode both times. So funny.