The month of love

We should not forget that February is also the month we celebrate black history. Sadly, it's not a leap year, but I do have a cool banner to upload. Wait for it ...
Ah crap. I couldn't get my banner up. It appears I have to upgrade my template and that is going to require more work than I can do in one evening, especially since my attention is focused on last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy that Darr TiVo'd for me. Look for the new banner to actually be the banner of the blog soon.

The Hitcher

It has been a while but I finally managed to hook up with my friend Jen for some horror flick fun. Our movie of choice - The Hitcher, a remake of that 1986 classic starring C. Thomas Howell and Rutger Hauer. I know what you're thinking. How could they improve upon this solidly built masterpiece of cinematography? Well, hiring a new cast of basic nobodies for starters, but also by providing the audience with an abundance of gore and ending with some righteous anger framed in fire, that's how. So I present to you yet another round of...

The Hitcher Lessons Learned

1. When you almost run over a crazy hitcher man standing in the middle of a deserted highway at night during a rainstorm, do not offer the drenched lunatic a ride. Hit the gas and keep right on driving.

2. Do not stop to chat with the has-one-lazy-eye-cause-he-was-
kicked-in-the-head-by-a-donkey gas station attendant. He'll have you driving with that hitcher in your car before you can say the word "hitcher". And you don't want that. The hitcher is a bad, evil man.

3. If the crazy hitcher man winds up in your car, for God's sake lie when he asks where you're headed. Crazy hitcher men should never be privy to your itinerary.

4. If you plan on going on a road trip, wear something sensible. An obscenely short miniskirt and cowboy boots make it difficult to escape the bad hitcher man when he goes bananas and tries to kill you. I recommend jogging pants and a nice pair of broken-in sneakers.

5. Eventually, all of this running from the crazy hitcher man will make you dirty and you'll take some time out of your busy schedule to shower with your loved one. That's fine. But don't get into bed after your boyfriend has left the room to go and make a call. First, he ain't coming back, and second, the crazy hitcher man is, and boy-howdy will he be happy to see you in your schnazzy panties.

6. If all the cops are dead, they can't help you. Grab some guns and help yourself to a patrol car to get the Hell out of there.

7. Women will blame you if everybody starts dying after they recommended ditching the trip to return home and you dismissed their idea as ridiculous. They will do this because they are right.

8. When and if you should reach a state of righteous anger, it looks cool to kick your way out of a burning vehicle to track down the bad guy whilst slinging a big, black gun. Go on with your bad self.

Opera meets Windows

Oh Canada! Our neighbors up north provided us with lovely weather during our stay in their country. It was gorgeous! Cold, but gorgeous. We arrived early but were able to check-in, park the car, and hit the streets. Or more specifically, Robson Street. We walked up, we walked down, and along the way we went into every shoe shop available. Anya was on a mission to find boots. A mission that, I'm sad to say, was not successful. We took the ferry to Granville Island, had some dirty and smoky martinis at The Cat's Meow (Rick drank a beer) and walked back to our hotel where we changed for dinner. We met my friend Jessica for dinner Friday night at CinCin, a restaurant that was taking part of Dine Out Vancouver. The food was solidly good but the restaurant was busy and our waiter was, well not great, but he was somewhat entertaining - knocking over glasses, bringing menus when we'd already ordered, those kinds of things. Then we returned to the hotel and played 500. I made one spectacularly bad move when I was holding the joker and both bowers that somehow cost us the game - damn it!- but we, meaning Rick, Anya, and I since Darr is already an experienced 500 player, are definitely improving. And hey, Rick and Anya both learned to shuffle (sort of), which did seem to weaken Rick's gravitational pull on the joker. Saturday we all slept in, left the hotel late, grabbed breakfast at La Bretagne, a fantastic creperie just off Robson, and then walked over to and around Stanley Park. It was a leisurely stroll on a cold, crisp day. Our off-trail portion of the walk led us to a rather rambunctious food-seeking black squirrel and a bird-feeding homeless man. We ate some ramen noodles and bought a gazillion cupcakes before continuing our window shopping along Robson. Anya wanted to hit the underground mall so we parted ways with our friends for a few hours in the early evening. Darr and I went swimming and hit the hot tub at the hotel.

Later that evening we took a very short cab ride, so short the driver didn't even start the meter, to the Queen Elizabeth Theatre to watch The Magic Flute. After watching three operas I can now state with confidence that when it comes to operas I'm a traditionalist. I am annoyed by weird interpretations that have Julius Caesar wearing a suit or Papageno speaking the language of the First Nations peoples. But the best part of the opera was the incident of technical difficulties that occurred about halfway through the show. Throughout the production various images were projected onto the backdrop of the stage - we're talking large transparent images of leaves and rain and trees and stuff like that - but for whatever reason the application they were using crashed and so the control room's computer desktop was projected onto the stage including that so-often-seen "Send Report""Don't Send Report" error message. The audience was forgiving, many in our area chuckled when one guy mumbled "That's why you use a Mac." (Hee hee.) Bless them, the folks on stage kept on running with the performance.

We were hungry after the performance but apparently folks in downtown Canada don't eat after 11 p.m. because lots of the restaurants along and near Robson had closed for the night. This meant, of course, that we forced to hit Red Robin for some burgers and bottomless fries (clucks and fries for me). We ate the food, sitting amongst the teen-aged crowd, and walked home through a foggy and bitter cold night. We met for another round of card playing, switching partners. Anya, I think still upset about my blunder during the previous night's game, wanted to play with Rick, who had some strange ability to always get the joker. Well, my friends, his power was weak Saturday night and Darr and I were on fire. FIRE! We won the first round and then we proceeded to beat the pants off of them the second round, the final score as follows:
Me and Darr 800
Anya and Rick -810

Pics of our Canadian adventure will be up soon.

In route

It is 6:46am. We are in Seattle. Our hosts are upstairs getting ready. We just finished breakfast. We will shortly be on the road to downtown Canada. The mission we've chosen to accept, take part of Dine Out Vancouver and see The Magic Flute. Beauty is over at Uncle Nick's and Aunt Megan's, and the girls are enjoying a weekend of quiet goodness sans humans and dog at the condo.

Jesus Camp

You know what? I've been sitting here for about twenty minutes trying to figure out the best way to start this entry - write a sentence, erase, write another sentence, revise, erase. You get the picture. And it finally occurred to me that I'm still so shocked and amazed and appalled by what I saw that I am unable to rally the brain cells to draft up a coherent thought on the movie. Jesus Camp. You must see it. Immediately.

I know some evangelicals. And yes, they can be a little fervent when it comes to their beliefs. But I never got a picture of what the most ardent believers were like until watching this flick. The documentary follows four main people - Becky Fischer, who owns and operates Kids in Ministry International; Levi, a young boy sporting a rat-tail of epic proportions who already preaches and has aspirations of becoming a pastor; Rachael, a young girl who shares her love of Jesus with everyone and makes claims God only enjoys going to charismatic churches; and Tory, who enjoys Christian heave metal music because it is righteous, not of the flesh.

I'm not going to bore you with my rundown of the details. I couldn't do it justice anyway. But seriously, you must go and rent this movie. The opening Lord of the Flies-type dance is a little crazy but things settle down once the kids make their way to Becky's "Kids on Fire" summer camp. From Harry Potter to abortion to Ted Haggard to creationism to the earth being a mere 6000 years old, this documentary captures the provocative and the alarming.

My final thoughts:

1. Clearly, we need to outlaw home-schooling.
2. Bush is born-again (i.e., evangelical).
3. Indoctrinating your children, even about Christ, is still a form of brain-washing.
4. A .6 degrees Celsius near-surface atmospheric temperature rise in 50 years is significant.
5. We need to vote for Hillary Clinton.
6. Little children chanting "Righteous judges! Righteous judges!" as they hold little plastic aborted fetuses is WRONG. (And yes, the all-caps is meant to denote me shouting at you.)
7. The Ted Haggard in this film is the same Ted Haggard who met with a gay prostitute for a "massage" and bought meth and is the same Ted Haggard who met weekly with our current Commander-in-Chief.
8. Science is theories and facts. Faith is faith. Let us not forget that a scientific theory is not just a guess.
   

Presenting the iDo

My next Apple purchase. It's not even real but I want it.
How cute is that friggin' diamond apple?

State of the Union

"All we are saying is give war a chance."*



*set to John Lennon's classic Give Peace a Chance

Putting my money where my mouth is

My friend Sharon sent me a link to the Hillary for President site, perhaps not realizing that I would then sign up, contribute, and send her a reply e-mail asking for a campaign contribution. (I actually sent one of those blanket e-mails to many on my e-mail address list.) My admiration for the Clintons knows no bounds - Bill Clinton was the first President I ever had the pleasure of voting for - and I am ecstatic about the prospect of working on Hillary's campaign to help the first woman get elected to the White House. This is history in the making, people!

Say what you will about Hillary's hair and the somewhat standoffish air about her, she is an intelligent, experienced, savvy woman who knows how to work hard and compromise to get things done.

Odds are we'll be hosting a party to deplete your bank account in the future. Stay tuned.

Spoiled Rotten

It's not just the name of the store I work at Sundays, it's what I was tonight when store owner Debbie took all of her employees out for a fantastic dinner at a restaurant called Nostrana. Our evening started with gifts - a luxurious bathrobe and a gift certificate for a massage at Cypress Salon and Day Spa, which we opened at the shop. Then we made our way to the restaurant for drinks and dinner. I tried my first smoky martini - a curious blend of vodka, scotch, and olive juice - and must say it was a hit, a clear sign I'm on my way to a martini-filled future. Then we started ordering food. And then more food. A bottle of wine. A few more drinks. Another basket of foccacia. Another bottle of wine. And then dessert. I had zuppe (barley soup), pizze (pizza with mozzarella, tomato, basil, and proscuitto), and a crostata with gelato (peach and cardamom pie with streusel and ice cream). Needless to say, tomorrow I won't be eating.

Working at Spoiled Rotten has been my pleasure. The employee discount certainly came in handy last year with all of the pregnant ladies I know, who now all have kids. And since Darr and I will someday eventually try to think about starting to attempt to have a family, I've been able to sock a few things away for our kid(s). (Darr wants two but I'm not quite there yet.) Plus, Debbie, if I may take a moment for a shameless plug, has some of the best merchandise in town. Retro booster seats, Sevi wooden toys, Hooter Hiders, Peepee Teepees - quality items for moms, babies, and kids.

Did I mention the box of Godiva chocolates? Yeah, we got those to. Admit it, you want to be spoiled rotten too.

Life at the flooded condo

Last Friday, as I was returning to the building, I met a woman retrieving a condo key from one of the multitude of key lockers attached to the tiny fence that surrounds the front of our parking spaces on the east side of the building. We chatted for a few seconds as we made our way into the building, me tracking Beaut, watching to see if she would be helpful and deliver her saliva-soaked ball to our doorstep, and the woman being careful to avoid brushing against the wet dog. I went inside and had just wiped down the dog and removed my outside layer of clothing when there was a knock at the front door, an unusual event as our entrance is inside the building. I figured that it was the lady I had just talked with and was somewhat annoyed for the intrusion - I cringe to think what it'll be like when Darr and I move to a home with a door left open to the knocking hands of the public - but I opened the door because I figured since that lady had seen me walk into my home the "I'll be super quiet and pretend I'm not here" ploy was not likely to work.

She explained that on her way to her condo, which she is in the process of selling and has already moved out of, she noticed a dripping sound coming from the common room. (Darr and I share a wall with the common room so I'm thinking this could turn out to be not good for us.) I grab my key card and follow her down the hall. We open up the door and holy schnikes, that's a lot of water! Immediately I surmise there is a problem with the sprinkler system as the first fountain of water I see pouring from the ceiling happens to be at one of the sprinkler heads. Then I notice the other puddles forming and that, upon further inspection, water seems to be erupting into the room from any number of sources. (Think Jennifer Connelly in Dark Water.) Fuck. This ain't good.

So I rush back to our condo and call our local management company. On a typical call to our rep, I'm stonewalled and shoved into voicemail faster than you can say "voicemail". It's amazing the power the word flood contains. The receptionist put me on hold for less than five seconds before the line was picked up and I heard our account rep on the phone. I explained what I saw.

Lisa: "Now, is it a drip?"
Me: "Nah, it's pouring. There are standing puddles everywhere. In front of the door, down the hallway in front of the bathrooms, in the kitchen--"
Lisa: "So, it's not a drip."
Me: "No. It's a downpour. All over."
Lisa: "This typically happens at 4pm so this is good. [It's around 2pm.] I'll call the plumber and get the restoration company out there to start ripping up the drywall and flooring. Thanks."
Me: "No problem. I'll be here if anyone needs help getting into the building or the common room."
Lisa: "Okay. Great. [Clearly not, but okay, I understand you are professionally bound to not drop the f-bomb while on the job.] Thanks, Christie, for the call."

I've heard a few drips within the walls but have yet to see any actual water in our home. We've since heard that pipes broke in the attic - we have an attic? - and that the water traveled down this one main path, causing damage to the common room, and rooms 205, 305, and 405. This sucks for those homeowners, of course, but bodes well for us. Or it did until our across-the-hall neighbor mentioned that she had heard 203, the condo directly above ours, has sustained water damage.

Too many pillows

I thought it was too many pillows that caused my neck pains this morning but Darr and I had the following conversation while watching American Idol and, as a result, I thought it prudent to record it in the event I mysteriously disappear.

Me: My throat really hurts. Seriously it's sore. Did you throttle me when I was asleep?
Darren: Sure.

Sticks and stones from the Grey's Anatomy cast

If you own a television, you've probably heard recent (and not so recent) rumors about troubles on the set of Grey's Anatomy. How much longer can this gorgeous cast handle working together? Probably not much if Monday's Golden Globes is any indicator. Grey's Mr. Burke, played by Isiah Washington, found the most infelicitous time to go to the mike with the following statement meant to respond to earlier (as in months earlier) reports of an on-set fight between himself and T.R. Knight (i.e., Grey's George O'Malley):

"No, I did not call T.R. a faggot."

Okay, well, uh, perhaps the press room of the Golden Globes isn't the greatest place to set the record straight, Isiah. Maybe next time you could choose a more appropriate place and time to launch into a defense of alleged crimes. Or maybe T.R. should just answer back with this simple phrase:

"No, I did not call Isiah a <insert n-word here>."

Then the boys can call it even and go on their merry way.

Saturday's menu

Barring any weather complications we're having friends over for dinner on Satuday. Here's the menu:

Traditional British Sunday* Roast
Roast beef
Yorkshire pudding
Roasted vegetables
Brussel sprouts
and for dessert:

Trifle Belle Hélène

*We're serving the meal on a Saturday but it'll be Sunday in Britain so I think we're going to sidestep, just barely, any Saturday/Sunday discrepancy.

Snowy morning pics

Self-photo

Not sitting on the dock of a bay

Red berries

Beaut would rather be at the park

Snow art

Leaning tree of Sellwood

Open for what exactly

My home workstation

My mom asked me before Christmas for an exact description of what it is that I do as a tech writer. Apparently, the apropos title doesn't provide a clear enough picture of the service I provide in this particular field. I write technical documents. At my current position, I am working on two different projects - drafting procedures for all processes performed by the employees on the floor and creating a training manual for the new application they will be starting to use later this month. The first is relatively easy. I interview a person, often shadowing the person as she/he performs the specific process I am covering, go back to my desk, draft up the documentation, capture screen shots as needed, and then send the first draft out to key persons. Eventually, I receive proofing back (sometimes having to hunt, steal, cajole, bribe, and threaten to get it), make any necessary changes, and then complete another and possibly a third round of proofing before the procedure is accepted, the appropriate signatures are gathered, and the item is posted on the intranet. This becomes difficult when you meet people reluctant to share information, which can happen for any number of reasons but typically tends to come from the notion that giving up said info will result in job loss. (Which it sometimes does so this is not a totally irrational fear.) Drafting up training docs, at least for my current project, is a little more problematic as the ways in which to complete the work have not already been figured out so I have to teach myself how to use the system and then draft up the documentation. Thankfully, the lead programmer for this project is fantastically awesome and very speedy with responses when I pepper him with questions via e-mail. And I do have the opportunity to discuss the application with the testers so if there is something I'm not quite sure how to accomplish, there is a good chance someone can at least point me in the right direction.

Today, since Storm Watch 2007 is under way, I am working from home. It is a comfortable atmosphere without the noisy distractions, mainly that one air vent on the wall that rattles constantly making me want to drive a fork into my eyeball. I have my work laptop on the table in the dining room - Darr's using my desk in his office - alongside Molly, my tea with honey, and a lovely scented candle from Henri Bendel (thanks, Megan!). Occasionally one of the cats will jump up on my lap for a quick visit.

Beer League

I'm a Howard Stern fan and I'm not ashamed to say it. The guy makes me laugh and while sometimes, usually when a female guest is sitting in the Robospanker, I turn the station and wait until the next segment to tune back in, for the most part I really enjoy the comedy that can be found on his show. All of this to say that as a Stern fan, I found myself in the video store staring at one of Stern's coworkers who had written and starred in his own movie. You may remember Artie Lange from such movies as The Bachelor, Elf, and Old School. Artie stars as a slightly different version of himself in this offbeat movie about an unemployed, alcoholic, layabout who plays in a softball league with his loser friends. Laurie Metcalf's cameo as Artie's tired, dotting mother is a treat to watch for the few seconds she's on the screen. Artie's acting is, at times, a bit stilted. Then he delivers one of his raw, caustic lines and you laugh because even though it's probably uncomfortable and typically is offensive, it's funny. When you rent this movie, grab a beer, sit back, and enjoy.

CAUTION: Clicking on the Robospanker link may lead to being fired for surfing porn-related sites while on the job, standing in long unemployment lines, being denied for unemployment, sleeping under bridges, being shunned by all of your previous friends and family members, having some asshole drop a quarter in your coffee because he/she thinks you are engaged in the act of panhandling, and freezing to death in the farctic* winter weather we're currently experiencing.

*fucking arctic

A new addition to our family

Well, we did it. We've been talking about it for some time and we finally did it. We are pleased to announce the latest addition to our family. Her name is Molly. And she is a magnetic little bundle of technological joy. Weighing in at just 5.2 lbs, she has a 13.3 inch diagonal widescreen, a beautiful black matte finish, and the most quiet keys ever created by humankind. She is fantastically fast and jam packed with good stuff, including Photo Booth which Darr and I got one hell of an ab workout using.

Yes, my love of all things Apple overwhelmed me today whilst we were shopping at Bridgeport Village so we stopped by the Apple store and decided the time had come to upgrade Marty (my old G4 PowerBook). One swipe of the credit card and a signature later, we were on our way out, me carrying the case of a brand spanking new MacBook. Why not MacBook Pro, you ask? I don't need that much of a machine for the blogging, photo snapping, web site creation and maintenance, and occasional writing that I do. I'm not a gamer, although with two friends working in the gaming industry you'd think I would be. And Molly has all of the goodies I need to keep me happy for at least the next three years. She's perfect. Of course, now there is no excuse, except for pure lack of talent, to keep me from writing the Pulitzer Prize winning piece of literature that will have fame and a modest fortune knocking at my door.

And the cool tool we bought shortly after booting up Molly? Delicious Library. Delicious Library is an outstanding $40 piece of software, working in conjunction with Apple and Amazon to get you all the info you'd ever need for your movie, book, music, or game. Scan the title (an easy task with Apple's iSight - just hold the barcode in front of the built-in camera) or type the title, select the item, and it is added to your library. So now, when we feel like settling down for a good romantic comedy, all I've got to do is run a search for "Hugh Grant" and wait for the almost limitless possibilities to present themselves. (We do have an extraordinarily high volume of Hugh Grant movies.) Beyond this level of absolute awesomitude is the layout of the library - wooden shelves where the title for each item is placed. The pane on the right displays all of the information about the item. Click My Info and you can rate the item (a five-star system) and write your own review. Click Similar and the kind peoples at Amazon will provide you with a list of similar items - so it's not just a clever name - that you can then easily access and purchase if you so desire. It's really incredible. And fairly easy to use as I've already uploaded most of our dvds and it only took an hour or so at the dining room table.

Greetings from San Jose: An IM conversation

Christie: you're terribly cute, my love
Darr: thanks sweetie!
Christie: and hey, don't feel obligated to throw a compliment right back 'cuz that would just be forced, you know.
Christie: :|
Darr: you're so cute It's just difficult to find adequate words

Addicted to Sudoku

I figured pigs would be ice skating in Hell before I'd get hooked on a numbers game but the impossible has happened and I am addicted to Sudoku. I have just spent the last hour wearing headphones so I could listen to Grey's Anatomy while I searched the condo for a frickin' pencil. Mission accomplished and now I can get my Sudoku fix. Ah...numbers...that's better.

Apple's iPhone

Damn. It's totally unnecessary and way too expensive but I want it.

UPDATE:
Cingular has teamed up with Apple to be the exclusive provider for Apple's iPhone. Darr and I recently switched from T-Mobile to Cingular. If this isn't the Gods trying to tell me I'm supposed to have that phone, I don't know how else to explain it except to say that fate is clearly at play here.

San Jose conversation

Christie: "Hey there, peasweet."
Darr: "I'm in soft rock hell."
Christie: "What the hell are you listening to that for?"
Darr: "Needed some music and it's the only clear station."
Darr: "The station is K-bay. How K-gay is that?"
Christie: "A lot."
Christie: "Do I have to wait until you come home to watch Battlestar Galactica?"
Darr: "Nope."
Christie: "Sweet."

Adios, 2006

Even though Darr and I were both sickly peoples Rick and Anya still asked us to join them for the New Year's Eve celebration in Seattle. So, Saturday morning we hopped in Sophie and headed north. A few hours later we arrived at their place and quickly settled ourselves on their couch, snuggled under a blanket, to hang out and watch some t.v. (Denis Leary's The Job, I highly recommend it.) We had planned on going tubing on New Year's Eve but thanks to our sickness and a scarcity of available tubing tickets, we changed our plans and went for a nice walk that ended at Alki Beach Park instead. The weather was absolutely gorgeous so we took full advantage of our digital camera and grabbed a ton of shots. My favorite is a South Park Faith + 1-ish photo that would be perfect if the four of us ever think of starting a grunge Christian rock band. I've included a side-by-side comparison for your visual enjoyment. (Interested in the other photos, click here.)
We played several games over the course of the weekend, watched a lot of t.v., listened to songs from the 80s, drank lots of alcohol (Rick and Anya had expanded their supply since our last visit) and Darr and I popped DayQuils and NyQuils to help alleviate our sick symptons. New Year's Eve, whilst I was jacked up on DayQuil and champagne, we made our yearly trip to this one park I can't remember the name of to view the fireworks shot off the Space Needle before returning home to play 500, a card game that only Darr really understood how to play. Turns out staying up until 5am when you're under the weather isn't the best cure for the common cold. I'm still trying to catch up on sleep and I haven't been able to speak like a normal person for about a week now. It's better now but for a few days I was sounding a bit too close to Harvey Fierstein for my liking.

Here's hoping your holidays were fabulous. Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2007

Another year, another banner. As for resolutions, I thought it'd be a good idea to review last year's and then I realized I didn't post any, which if you think about it is a pretty good approach to resolutions.