When do you need words like "epaulement"?

Darr and I are watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee tonight, mainly because so far the pre-summer selection of shows sucks, and I'm missing some words (e.g., abseil) and getting some words (e.g., helodes, schuhplattler). Sadly, I'm noticing that the girls seem - to the outsider like me - to be getting words that are harder than the ones the boys are getting. For instance, the first girl we see up at the mike gets a word with no known etymology and no alternate pronunciations. Yeah, right. The next kid (a boy) gets the word "rigaree" which pretty much sounds exactly like it is spelled. Hmmm. Anyway, the coolest word I learned was kakistocracy. It's lovely because it can totally be used to describe the current administration. Here's Wikipedia's definition:

Kakistocracy, rule by the least-able or least-principled of citizens, is a form of government in which the people least qualified to control the government are the people who control the government.

The origin of this word is Greek, derived from the superlative of the Greek adjective kakos (bad), the superlative form being kakistos (worst).

Too hot to cook

It hit 88 degrees today and sometimes that is just too hot to cook. Tonight's dinner consisted of Insalata Caprese and fresh cherries. We're topping off our evening feast with some watermelon, which I'll slice into as soon as I'm done with this post. Darr enjoyed a Skinny Dip, from the folks at New Belgium, lest you think he's bare-assed in the Willamette, and I partook of a nice sparkling water beverage.

Memorial weekend

There is no better time to nap then during a holiday weekend when many flee the city to their destinations of choice. Folks leaving means you wake up Saturday to less traffic, less people, and less noise. It's a quiet solitude that is rare for a city with over a million inhabitants, not including those who trek into the downtown area to partake of all the cool downtown activities during a normal it's-almost-summer weekend.

Unfortunately, we were not able to do too much napping what with our list of chores to complete. Darr spent Saturday and Sunday over at his dad's house helping his pop prepare for an upcoming move (his dad just bought a new house). He also took Olive (a.k.a. the dog car) through DEQ for new tags and over to Les Schwab for a new tire (one was punctured past the point of return when Darr introduced Olive to a curb). I spent Saturday cleaning out our storage unit - where I discovered mold, gross - and catching up on regular to-do items like laundry and vacuuming. For me, Sunday was an abysmally slow day spent at the baby boutique, where fewer customers than normal traipsed through the door to browse. Not buy, browse. With my laptop and a dvd from the Dead Like Me series, I was just able to stave off total boredom.

Monday we woke up late, consumed a large breakfast, and killed time until we headed out to Brother Nick and Megan's for barbecue. Beauty the wonder dog was excited to see her cousin Autzen, who is already closing in on 45 lbs and loves to jump on her head, back, paws, tail, and any other dog part in general to share his exuberance at her appearance in his backyard. We heard Brother Nick got up early in the morning to prepare the potato salad, which he made from scratch, and get the ribs on the grill. (We thank you.) My food fear kept me from trying the potato salad, Darr tells me it was great, but I did try the ribs even after hearing that mustard was an ingredient. Mustard. Mus-tard. I don't do condiments, people. But I couldn't go over to my brother's house for the first time for dinner and not eat the man's food. In one move, Brother Nick got me to consume something Darr has been trying for over a decade to get me to taste. My conclusion? The barbecue sauce was good, tangy and sweet balanced with salty smokiness. After a rousing boxing match on their new Nintendo Wii - Darr totally kicked ass - we had some chocolate cake, chatted for a bit, and then headed home.

Reading Lolita in Tehran

I finally finished Reading Lolita in Tehran, a Christmas gift from two years ago. (Yes, I feel the appropriate level of shame for having taken so long to get to it.) What can I say other than that you should read it? I was encouraged that these women would be brave enough to meet to discuss some of the great Western literature (e.g., Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry James, etc.) that their government had seen fit to ban. At the same time, I was immensely saddened by the glimpses into a fundamentalist regime hellbent on controlling every aspect of their lives. It goes beyond covering their bodies and their hair. (It is explained this is done for their own protection - apparently the mere sight of a strand of a woman's hair can incite a man to a sexual frenzy that he will not or cannot control.) The same regime outlaws fingernail polish, regulates who women can be seen with in public, and conducts "virginity tests" to ensure women suspected of wrongdoing, even in the face of zero evidence to suggest otherwise, are honorable and good. There is a movie quote that came to mind that I find quite fitting even though the line is from a comedy and the book shows the brutal oppression of women. It's from The Ref and is spoken by the matriarch of the family as she addresses the burglar (played by Denis Leary):

"I've survived worse than you. World wars, old age, marriage and weak men like you. Men who don't have the guts to survive in the real world. Men who are just scared little boys intimidating everyone with their aggressiveness because they're afraid the world will find out how small their penises are."

Hunger pangs

Darr: "I'm hungry."
Me: "Really. I'm surprised you're still hungry."
Darr: "Yeah, I'd probably feel better with some ice cream, chocolate, popcorn, and beer."

News: Holy crap, it's a boy!

Yep, the balance of power is shifting at Life at the condo, a boy is on the way. It's a good thing my female powers are at an all-time high - what with the growing a human and all - so that I can fight the evil forces of testosterone. Well, evil might be too harsh a word but you know what I'm saying. How can I bring another member of the patriarchy into the world? What will we have in common? How will I import to my son the necessity of helping a woman do dishes on a regular basis, nay even doing the dishes himself? Will I be able to convince him that ice skating is a cool sport, way better than that ridiculous curling?

The best thing is that I can fill his mind with all sorts of things like:

1. Always buy your own fries. Don't assume people, particularly your mom, will want to share them with you.
2. When running your own business, the smart and talented women you hire must receive equal or higher pay than the smart and talented men you bring on board.
3. Fox News is the antithesis of fair and balanced.
4. The theory of evolution is way more factual than the bible. And creationism must never be confused with real science. (I'll introduce you to the FSM when you start asking questions.)
5. Don't eat tofu jerky. Either commit to your vegan/vegetarian self or eat real meat.
6. Be earth-friendly. Mother Nature is pretty pissed off with us right now.
7. Save for retirement or get a government job. (Those folks have a much better retirement plan. Go figure.)
8. Universal health care makes more sense than the whacked system we currently have.
9. It's probably a good thing to know how to fish 'cuz of that one saying: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
   
10. When completing writing assignments for school, especially if you have a woman teacher or professor and you get the sense she might be a feminist, use the feminine pronoun to earn extra brownie points.

On another note, ultrasounds are weird. The guy spent a good hour running a wand over my belly as he looked for and identified the various parts of the Resident Alien. The easiest items to spot were the spine (which looks like a fossil) and the phalanges (i.e., fingers). Our little guy was moving around a lot and not entirely cooperative but the doctor that came in did say our kid had the "cutest" profile he'd seen all day (see pic above). He laughed when I asked if we were his first patient - we weren't - but without knowing how else could I assess the legitimacy of his statement? I had my feet crossed at the ankles during the process, which ordinarily isn't a comment I'd normally record, except that when we finally came across R.A.'s feet on the screen, they too were crossed at the ankle (see pic at right). Like mother, like son, I guess. But if this kid doesn't like potatoes, we may have to return him. What do you do with a kid that doesn't like potatoes?

Bedtime conversation

Me, reading an excerpt from Reading Lolita in Tehran: "'This made it easier for the new ruling elite to pass some of the most reactionary laws, going so far as to outlaw certain gestures and expression of emotion, including love...It banned ballet and dancing and told ballerinas they had a choice between acting or singing. Later women were banned from singing, because a woman's voice, like her hair, was sexually provocative and should be kept hidden.' These #&%#@ need to die."

Darr, in response to my comment: "One day, honey."

Sometimes my husband says exactly the right thing.

Thunder: Fact I didn't know

What makes thunder?

The air around a lightning bolt is superheated to about five times the temperature of the Sun. This sudden heating causes the air to expand faster than the speed of sound, which compresses the air and forms a shock wave; we hear it as thunder.

Hillary Clinton: I know I'm biased but watch this anyway...

Our first Mother's Day weekend

Our Mother's Day weekend began early Saturday morning when I left home with Beauty the wonder dog and headed to Champoeg Park for the Hippie Chick race. (Beaut and I did the quarter marathon.) Sara was kind enough to pick up my race packet for me the day before. While she was correct in stating the shirts this year were less than appealing, I did have a pretty good bib number - 1. I was busy gabbing with Sara, as she waited for the Noodle to wake up from her nap, so Beaut and I didn't start on time but we did all right once on the trail. Lots of people commented on the bib number, I only saw one other person with a single digit, and many questioned how I came upon such a number, as if I had some insight into number distribution (I don't). A runner who passed me after the fifth mile happily pointed out we were shoe twins. I didn't really know such a thing existed but plan on watching shoes in future races so I can point out people's feet.

Tan came over in the afternoon to spend a little time scrapbooking. Sometimes there are just too many projects to choose from. I decided once the Resident Alien arrives it's probably unrealistic to think I'll have a bunch of available time to work on a family album so I started putting one together that will begin with our pregnancy and go through a year of the baby's firsts. I'm guessing this one album might end up becoming thirteen albums - first Halloween, first Christmas, first President's Day - there's a lot of ground to cover. At least I'm getting the process started, which increases the likelihood the photos will one day be placed in an album.

Darr returned home with Mother's Day gifts. Yea! The Cinnabons were great and the card was most excellent but the Bugaboo Gecko stroller was the coolest. We spent some time Sunday afternoon putting the stroller together and taking Elle & Mabes for rides around the condo. Cat tested, mother and father approved.

It's very clear we need a kid...

if only so we stop taking photos of our animals...

Beauty the wonder dog enjoys an evening at the park.

Ellie lies patiently whilst her pops places human-sized socks on her little cat feet.

Mabel helps with home improvement project #1: spare bedroom shelves.

Seattle store: Urban Beast

When we last traveled to Seattle to tell our friends the news, we were taken to a really cool pet store called Urban Beast. True to form, I was unable to leave without spending money, grabbing a new collar for Beauty the wonder dog (which she'll be able to wear once we get her in for some serious bathing and grooming) and a few catnip toys for the girls. The girls were all too happy to play with their new toys. Those cats sure do enjoy a good herbal brew.

Little Miss Mabelson

Ellie MacPherson has a habit of stepping on toys with her hind legs. We have no idea why she does this.

A Complicated Kindness

I just finished another book. I'm on a roll, which is probably a good thing as my reading list is significantly shorter this year than last year. (Shame on me, eh?) A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews offers an interesting look into the life of a Mennonite teenager.

"We're Mennonites. As far as I know, we are the most embarrassing subsect of people to belong to if you're a teenager. Five hundred years ago in Europe a man named Menno Simons set off to do his own peculiar religious thing ... Imagine the least well-adjusted kid in your school starting a breakaway clique of people whose manifesto includes a ban on the media, dancing, smoking, temperate climates, movies, drinking, rock 'n' roll, having sex for fun, swimming, make-up, jewelry, playing pool, going to cities or staying up past nine o' clock. That was Menno all over. Thanks a lot, Menno."

Left with her broken father after being abandoned by her mother and older sister, Nomi struggles to find her way in this typical coming of age story made atypical because of its setting within the small Mennonite town in which she lives. The author poses the following question, which with any luck you'll be able to answer for yourself by the time you read the last page: "Is it wrong to trust in a beautiful life if it helps you get through life?"

Pregnancy Craving: Dairy

Pregnancy facts: Did you know (cont.)...

...that it takes approximately 80,000 calories to grow a baby.

Brunch with the Bickels

This past Saturday morning we met the Bickels for brunch at Manzana in Lake Oswego. It was our first meeting with the Bickels since we told everyone our news and they took every available opportunity to share their thoughts about parenthood. It is good to know people who have gone through the experience of having a kid recently. It's even better when they are willing to share their hard-earned wisdom with the newbies. (That's us.) What I learned this brunch? That when you use a hand pump on the bulging-with-milk mom boobies, once the process is started more pumping isn't really required. Good to know. Sara also mentioned something about sex but neither Darr nor myself was brave enough to revisit that comment. We can only handle a certain amount of new information at a time.

When we had finished eating and chatting, and Noodle signaled she was ready to go - she did fabulously well during the meal - we headed outside, stopping at the newly opened St. Honoré Boulangerie to get a strawberry pastry for later. (No, we weren't actually hungry but we stopped nonetheless.) Then walked over to the parking lot where we left the Bickels at their Volvo, hopped into the Mini, and headed to Segal's. Our mission, to try out strollers to see which options fit in the boot. What we learned, much to our dismay, is that none of the strollers, including the super cheap models solely used with infant car seats, fit well into the boot of the car. You can forget the Bob stroller, which basically has to be dismantled to sort of almost fit. The Bugaboo wasn't much better, although we were able to close the boot. And you can forget having a passenger in the front seat when we put the infant car seat in the back unless that person has no legs and doesn't mind the up close and personal view of the road one can only get by sitting an inch away from the windshield.

Needless to say, we felt rather dejected when we left. I won't even go into what it was like perusing the aisles for cheaper crib options. Ugh. We are slowly coming to terms with the fact that babies are expensive. I can't begin to imagine how much an Ivy League school is going to cost in 2025. I suggested Darr buy a second Mini, one for him and the dog, and that we could take two Minis whenever we needed to travel as a family but he seemed not fond of this idea. That's why we landed at the Honda dealership next. I left my wallet at home, not anticipating an afternoon of test driving, but Darr was able to take the Element out on the road for a quick drive. In a word (Darr's word), the car is utilitarian. It is cute in an ugly kind of way. The Element is the vehicle currently at the top of our list. A sedan just won't work with a kid and a dog. Other vehicles we'll check out in our quest for the perfect family transportation device - Subaru Outback, Audi A3 wagon, Toyota Matrix, and one member of the Mazda family I can't recall.

Saturday & The Road

Well, after the big long post about how my reading patterns have changed I just completed two interesting adult novels. Not adult meaning erotica, just regular adult literature. Saturday by Ian McEwan and The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

As the title implies, Saturday is a book that focuses on one day in a man's life. Family, career, relationships, etc. are explored as the day progresses. An event in the morning has unexpected consequences later in the day. The foreshadowing makes it a bit obvious but the solution, or maybe rather the resolution, that follows is pleasantly literary. Reading this book may make you want to memorize a noteworthy poem to have readily available just in case.

The Road is a quick, unsettling read about a man and his son traveling on the road after some event, presumably nuclear as there is a continuous falling of ash covering everything and bodies are burned into the pavement along some stretches of road. There are evil, roving gangs, periods of starvation, an acceptance and rejection of death, and an enduring love between them. As one of my friends mentioned when she finished the book, when an author takes what is basically a blank slate (imagine the world after a nuclear world war - no living trees, no green grass, everything shrouded in gray) and writes anything, that anything becomes wondrous. It could be a device as I hear the author has at least one other book that has a similar setting, but it used well. If someone has ideas on why the author chose to leave apostrophes out of words like "cant" and "havent" and "dont", I'd love to hear them. I have my own theory but I'd like to know what others think.

Private Practice

So, Grey's Anatomy has been sucking hardcore lately but after watching tonight's show it is abundantly clear that Addison is going to be leaving to practice medicine in another town with other hot docs on what will surely be a more interesting show than Grey's. At first, it didn't make sense - the weird vibe from the group of people Addison goes to visit (as luck would have it, they are all doctors and their practice has just lost their ob/gyn), the strength of all of the guest stars, the Ali McBeal-like voice Addison hears in the elevator - and then we were hit with an idea, there's going to be a new show. A quick Google search confirmed our suspicions. Private Practice will star Ms. Walsh (Addison) and a host of other fantastic cast members, including Timothy Daly (think Wings), Taye Diggs (yum), Amy Brenneman (from Judging Amy) and Merrin Dungey (of Alias and King of Queens fame). I was hooked when the ladies took a moment out of their busy doctor days to watch the young surfing-during-the-lunch-hour office receptionist wax his surfboard on his way out to the waves. Sure, it's reminiscent of that old Coke commercial but still...very nice.

Banner time

Yeah, you can sing the title of this entry to MC Hammer's famous tune if you're old enough. Enjoy that. My apologies for the five day delay in getting the banner switched out. What can I say? I'm busy growing a human.

Pregnancy: Changes in reading material

What I noticed at the store today, as I purchased my first baby-related magazine, is that my reading preferences have changed drastically since learning the news, and the Resident Alien isn't even here yet. Being pregnant is weird for reasons far stranger than mere changes in reading material. Like today, I reached across the counter to put some fruit in a basket and could actually feel a weird shift where the R. A. is currently residing. Weird. And sort of creepy. But exciting, too.

I guess reading is a comforting way to become comfortable with a thought that is still new enough I consider it uncomfortable. Thankfully, I have another five months to read all the books I can to better prepare myself for motherhood. Goodbye Lord Jim (Joseph Conrad), hello Belly Laughs (Jenny McCarthy). Here's a list of other books we've added to the family library since becoming expectant parents. (Holy crap, we're going to be parents!)

I know the traditional book for new mothers is "What to Expect When You're Expecting" but after reading just a few of the reviews on amazon.com, I didn't think that book would suit me well. The last thing you need when feeling rather alarmed is an alarmist book that reviews every worst-case scenario possible with a cover that hasn't been updated since the 1950s. Here are some of the comments from reviewers that steered me away from this recognized staple book on pregnancy:

"Let's start with the front cover. When was the last time you saw a pregnant mother wearing PINK LEGGINGS and rocking on a rocking chair? From the beginning, we can see that this publication is not intended for women of color, working women, or any pregnant woman who is living in reality."

"...the book could drive a girl, not to mention a pregnant woman, insane with anxiety. Its tone and advice are overprotective and even a little patriarchal. It's also padded with pages and pages of superfluous copy..."

"...you can't turn a page without being assaulted by talk of death, either with the baby or yourself. Who needs to read junk like that when they're feeling kinda emotionally drained anyway? They should have a section where they deal with the worst of the negative stuff so that readers aren't assaulted with negativity on every page. The page that dealt with hiccups (supposedly) actually talked about how the umbilical cord could fall out of you. Yeah, that's just lovely."

The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy is well organized and informative. The weekly updates that explain not only what is happening with the baby but with mom are excellent. I outlined just a few of things I learned from reading those sections in a previous entry.

The next two books were both recommended by Dave from Daddy Daze (a blog I've been reading for a long time). With great photos and an abundance of large, easy-to-read text, How to Photograph Your Baby has some excellent tips for capturing the best shots possible. You can finish this book in a short amount of time and use it as a reference when you need a quick reminder session. What I learned specifically:
1. Turn the flash off, it is destroying your pictures. All the nuance achieved by shadows is removed the second a flash is lit. Instead, use natural light.
2. Get closer. A picture that consists of 5% baby and 95% background means your baby is getting lost and that you're actually taking a pic of your living room/driveway/backyard/etc.
3. Keep snapping. The more shots you take, the greater the chance you'll get that one perfect shot. With digital cameras this is easier to do as you don't have to worry about the prohibitive cost of developing all that film.

First Meals (we have the new expanded version) starts out with lots of info on early nutrition, healthy eating, food allergies, kitchen basics you'll need when preparing your own baby food, heating and refreezing food, when and how to wean your baby and much, much more. With first recipes for babies from six to nine months to recipes for kids from three to seven years old (including adult-friendly dishes) this book is great. It offers advice on how to feed picky eaters and what you can do to make dishes visually appealing as well as tasty. And to top it off, at the back of the book it offers weekly menus that outline what to offer for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

And because I didn't want Darr to feel left out, I bought him Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads. What sold me on this book? The first few pages of the first chapter. It begins with a picture of an adorable, fresh faced baby and the title "What Your Newborn Won't Look Like". Turn the page and you get "What Your Newborn Will Look Like" and the pic of this baby - your baby - is quite atrocious. The newborn on this page has puffy eyes, a coned-shaped head, a flat nose, and is covered with a "cheesy" substance (known as vernix caseosa) that protects the baby's skin in the womb. Gross. And nasty. With sections on "Bidding Farewell to the Breast" and "Using the Baby as a Prop" and "Removing a Foreign Object from a VCR" guys are sure to be entertained whilst they peruse useful information on the newest addition to the family.

This book was recommended by my friend Leah of Loolaville fame. (Sadly, she had to shut down Loolababy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed she'll bring it back in the future.) Darr and I have spent many a Saturday morn in bed reading the various names, meanings, popularity ranking, etc. trying to determine what name will best suit our kid. Naming a kid is hard work. Pick an unfortunate name and the kid'll get teased mercilessly. Pick a name that is too generic and she/he won't stand out. Pick a name that is too ethnic and it could affect her/his ability to get a call back when she/he is applying for a job. We've found a few that we like but we haven't focused in on "the name" yet so we're open to suggestions if anyone has one they want to share. Many thanks to Petar for offering up his name. We'll certainly keep that in mind.

There are a few others on the shelf that I have yet to crack open - The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy, the latter I'll probably tackle next since I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy.